As only an elixir consisting of equal doses of reality, serendipity and liberal news media could, we are provided with a BS cocktail of a story resembling explosive diarrhea, having a dateline of… Al Qaqaa. You can’t make this stuff up. Al Qaqaa is the name of the Iraqi town where that (now seemingly phony) story of all those hundreds of tons of weapons that were initially reported (8 billion times) as having gone missing, originated.
On reflection, it almost looks like it was a set up in the first place—an April Fool’s joke in October. The clue was right in the name of the town—Al Qaqaa—and we all missed it. CLUE: this story is full of it!
Charles Duelfer, who wrote that Duelfer Report (Duelfer was the chief U.S. weapons inspector for Iraq) said (before we found out that the whole story is Qaqaa), that “it’s hard for me to get that worked up about it,” since “Iraq is awash in hundreds of thousands of tons of explosives.”
By “awash” he unwittingly left out the fact that Iraq seems to have found the world’s biggest bidet, in the name of American troops who have gathered and destroyed hundreds of thousands of tons of weapons already.
That’s an actual fact which nobody denies, least of all the friendly Russians (who were strangely against the concept of joining the U.S.-led coalition in the first place). The Russians quietly ferried tons of high explosive that they’d issued to Iraq, to Syria, Lebanon, and/or Iran, prior to the U.S. invasion, in exchange for hundreds of thousands of Casio watches, circa 1984, which North Korea used to pay the Russians for weaponry way back when. Kim Jung Il stole ‘em from South Korea. Oh the whole story is complicated.
Duelfer can also find solace in the fact that the initial report is seemingly wrong inasmuch as someone seemed to have tried to add-up the number of tons of explosives by using their circa-1984 Casio watch’s built-in mini calculator. Do you know how small them dang things are? It’s like the buttons are so small you have to use a hard-to-find hairpin (so most simply use a fellow reporter’s nose-ring) to press the buttons!
Just how 3 tons of RDX explosive turns into 377 tons is a mystery to me, since I don’t see carrying the 7 wrong, twice, as being a possibility unless there was a giant booger on the nose ring.
Boogers be damned, John Kerry went with the story, trudging about the country, using his patented mournful tone, which is all he ever uses, ever, slamming George Bush and all that is sane, and “lamenting” (code for glee) that 377—exactly 377—tons of explosives had gone into the hands of scary people—which, when they were under Saddam’s control, was not a scary thing. Kerry had confidence in Saddam, notwithstanding the fact that Saddam hated America, Americans, the west, Jews, Israel, some within his own country whom he killed, mutilated, raped, and cut sundry wiggling limbs off of, threw into mass graves, and (this is the salient point) wanted to kill all Americans—with those very weapons presumably.
The Democrats had already rushed to create an elaborate election ad about it and I watched it on their web site. On it, they sounded excited about the news (well, “news” in that Dan Rather/CBS News kind of way), but they are very very sad today. Now they have to go back to “We have a plan… George Bush has a plan …to kill all members of the middle class… with weapons of mass destruction …. from Vietnam where I was a hero… eat Heinz Ketchup…”
According to CBS News’ David Martin, “Duelfer also said UN weapons inspectors had recommended in 1995 that the high explosives be destroyed because of their potential use in a nuclear weapons program,” which according to Kamp Kerry and his merry doubters, Iraq never had. Instead, David Martin reported, the International Atomic Energy Agency—that’s the U.N.—ordered the explosives stored in sealed bunkers 30 miles south of Baghdad. But here’s a question: just why they would order those weapons sealed? We do not know, but one can only guess it’s because the U.N. secretly—and I do mean secretly—thought Saddam had a weapons program. Sound familiar?
So, the IAEA which (diplomatically?) gave the damaging story to CBS and the New York Times to use in a last-minute hit on President Bush (seems that CBS and the New York Times are U.N. Delegates—I did not know that), and that the IAEA were responsible for the continued existence of the explosives, as stored in Al Qaqaa with a U.N. seal, for future use.
Which is just a bull-Qaqaa way to run a news business, or a United Nations. Or an election.
By Joel Johannesen
This editorial is posted at ProudToBeCanadian.ca. Here is the exact link to the editorial:
http://www.proudtobecanadian.ca/threads/showflat.php?Number=2090
PTBC was founded by Mr. Johannesen in 2000.
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