But thank
God
Buddha(?) I’ve got “good karma” now. I know this because I paid cash money (in U.S. Dollars) for it. And they told me so in their official documentation.
Curious about liberal-leftist moonbats like Al Gore and other rich Hollywood liberals and their hideously hypocritical and massively excessive greenhouse gas emissions and their even bigger excuses for it —excuses which include the increasingly regular usage of the “but I’m offsetting my ‘carbon footprint’ by purchasing ‘carbon offsets’ and some-such thingamajiggy ‘trade-offs’ and thereby making my ‘carbon footprint’ neutral blah blah blah liberal liberal liberal BS BS BS….”— I decided to buy myself off as well, as an experiment in how liberals think. And I’m not impressed. I feel like a total idiot.
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I bought me and my wife off the politically-correct guilt-hook through one of the (what I personally believe are) modern day snake-oil sales outfits—this one called “terrapass”, which I now believe, as a result of my scientific experiment, may be staffed by folks consuming psychotropic drugs (there is an approximately 90 percent likelihood of that, according to my pseudo-scientific data, meaning that I’m officially “pretty dang sure”).
I understand that terrapass is one of the outfits Al Gore uses to buy himself some “good karma” and to help make up for the 20-times-normal energy usage at his Tennessee mansion to say nothing of his private jet usage and other mansions. I’m not sure what the leftist Prophet Suzuki uses to make up for his mansions and jet-flying and cross-country campaigning on diesel-powered luxury motor-coaches. Nor Liberal-left Democrat presidential candidate John Edwards with his 28,000 square foot mansion carved into a once-forested acreage but mowed down and clear- cut for his personal usage.
But now, you see, previously guilty me and my previously guilty wife can drive our humble little car, pollute away, fill the atmosphere with noxious gasses, and not worry about the greenhouse gasses that it is emitting—just like them! We’re guilt-free! “Carbon neutral”! It just cost us $40 U.S. per year I think—I’m not sure because I think I should really include the electricity that was expended to go online and buy the “carbon credits” that we bought to get us off the hook (that would cost us still more of course.)
But it really doesn’t matter because we got decals for our car! (Made out of plastic!) And letters! (Made out of trees!) And a fun bumper sticker! (Made out of plastic!)
First, there’s the letter from them (“printed with soy ink”!). Note that they address me as “Joel” like they’re my friend. But perhaps the scarier aspect of these nutroots is that their letterhead bears a scary resemblance to my own web site’s header.
Actually no—that’s not the scariest part. The scariest part is manifestly the whole concept, which is rooted in complete and utter bull, which is being embraced by Al Gore and the Prophet Suzuki and all their clergy and cult followers.
Here’s what my official certificate says (see the letter it’s attached to, above)—I’m supposed to carry this in my car or wallet, presumably:
“Be it known unto all kindreds, tongues, and people, nations, principalities and governments, the above listed individual has offset this car’s CO2 emissions for a year and thereby lays claim to all the privileges associated therewith, i.e., peace of mind, satisfaction and general good driving karma.”
I hope all “peoples” keep their “tongues” off my “karma” and in fact any part of me—and off my granola which I may or may not eat in a “principality” while driving about.
I honestly feel as though I’ve been had by a bunch of jokers. But scarily, they don’t see themselves that way. They see themselves as saving the planet. Seriously. And yet this is half the basis of the Kyoto Accord bunkum. This seriously frightens me as a thinking man.
Maybe it’s the accompanying cartoon which supposedly presents an ever-so whimsical view of the future according to environuts—a future in which we happily live in a police state in which citizens must produce documents and verification in certificate form proving that they aren’t Man-Made Global Warming “deniers”—or perhaps someday conservatives—or Christians, perhaps.
Or this accompanying “certificate” which uses the style and language that could only have been picked-up by excessive reading of government documents and other such complete BS:
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So next time some liberal mouths off at me for being a “denier”, I’ll simply flash my terrapass documents at them. And the strange, ironic thing is, I believe they’ll think I’m some kind of a total nutbar. And so they should.
PTBC was founded by Mr. Johannesen in 2000.
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