For the second day this week, I’m posting my most current and ever-changing J-Lines, in the form of a dumb old blog entry because as I understand it, some folks aren’t reading the J-Lines box at the top of the blog, and that won’t do. It just won’t. It won’t do because of the J-Lines’ inherent coolness.
So I’ll periodically post the J-Lines in a blog entry in order to get my way and get you used to being….just this cool. In this blog entry posting style, it won’t be updated—or at least it won’t be as much as in the much cooler and frequently updated J-Lines box. And it will slip down the page—eventually right off the page. And you’ll be left out of the loop. Your teeth will get yellower and yellower. The belly, she’ll get bigger. Men, you’ll start having to wear a manzeer. Women, you’ll stop shaving your armpits. You’ll all start listening to Britney Spears, and P-Diddy, and Celine Dion songs, because you just won’t know better. Hell—you might vote liberal. So read the J-Lines. In the J-Lines box.
It’s for the kids. Peace. Workers’ Rights. The French agree. Social Justice. Gay “marriage”. United Nations consensus. Bush Lied. There. I’ve done my best to attract Canadians. That oughta do it.
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Republican prez candidate Fred Thompson gets it. Says in speech Thursday night to the mighty and spot-on NRA: My wife "would make a much better First Lady than Bill Clinton". And it’s true! She’d also make a better first lady in Canada than Scott Brison’s husband if Scott ever won leadership (of one party or another) and won an election.
• It’s a consensus! Everyone agrees except neo-cons and nutbars! “Man-Made Global Warming” is on, baby! There’s no scientific debate, um, because, the debate’s over! Except that’s all a lie. Headline: Global Warming Lawsuit in Calif. Tossed—”[Judge] Jenkins said it’s up to lawmakers, rather than judges, to determine how responsible automakers are for global warming problems.” … He also said he shouldn’t enter what he called “the global warming thicket”— an allusion to the debate which, um, doesn’t exist. He also said in his ruling Monday, that “many culprits … and even natural sources, are responsible for emitting carbon dioxide”. Well damn. Up to lawmakers rather than judges? A “thicket”? Natural sources”? That ain’t liberal! And this guy’s from San Francisco! Someone get Suzuki on the horn! (Try his huge luxury motorcoach cell phone number!)
Actual picture of the Prophet David Suzuki’s Magic Carpet
• Liberals are too funny – part two. Now that one of their shining lights, their Dalton McGuinty of Ontario, lost the TV debate last night, the liberals’ Globe and Mail predictably asks in their online poll today, the day after: “Has a televised debate ever swayed your vote?” … Well by golly “No!” is their liberal readers’ answer by a country—err urban mile.
• Liberals are too funny. In their daily effort to bolster their “man-made global warming” cult religion and freak-out-a-palooza, the state-run CBC informs Canadians that “Arctic sea ice has shrunk to its lowest levels since record keeping began…” … which was a whopping 30 years ago. Thirty years ago! Oh my. Wake the kids. Call the neighbors. Email Gore and Suzuki. The sky—she be falling because of all the man-made global warming. … Oh just one more quote because they’re so cute: “The amount of ice loss this year absolutely stunned us, because it didn’t just beat all previous records, it completely shattered them,” said the University of Colorado at Boulder’s senior scientist Mark Serreze.” And I’ll bet he said that wearing a lab coat.
• Former New York mayor Ed Koch on Glenn Beck’s show Thursday: Since the Islamist terror-supporting Iranian leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (who believes Israel should be wiped off the face of the Earth) wants to take a photo-op visit to “Ground Zero” in NYC while he attends U.N. business, he will certainly need security. Koch’s idea: Arrange for some Jewish leaders to manage the security arrangements. I love this idea.
• “I’m not what I seem to be.” That was Liberal Frenchman Stephane (the “Green Guru”) Dion in an interview on the state-run media, muddying yet another inane position on, um, utterly nothing (well, OK, on himself). In other words it was Wednesday. Ironically, the CBC and the rest of the liberals’ media took the statement to prove that Liberals, unlike Conservatives, have no “hidden agenda” whatsoever. … In related news, the more manly American-style fellow spineless liberal Hillary Clinton thinks she knows what the Vice-President of the United States Dick Cheney seems to be, as she referred to him as “Darth Vader” yesterday, in a grand display of maturity and presidential diplomacy. (Don’t worry, she still calls Osama bin Laden “Mr. bin Laden”).
• Canada’s liberal-left are excited about a new scientific human baby harvesting technique. The “parental units” (as liberals call them) conceive three babies (using test tubes and, shall we say, “non-intercourse” methods, of course! That way, they can be gay, straight, any combo…), then choose the very best baby—the one they deem fit to live—and “implanting” it into a woman (if I’m still allowed to use that word). I mean woman for now, anyway; since soon, any animal will do, no doubt. Then having determined that the remaining two poor saps aren’t up to snuff (brown hair, female…) the liberals throw the remaining two humans into a garbage can, or donate them to I don’t know who, hopefully someone who won’t use them for prostitution, slavery, or “parts”. That’s an excellent idea to liberals. Sort of Hitler-like, and yet “progressive”. Vote liberal.
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