Dateline Geneva. Post-Bush. Science now back “in its rightful place”. The gruesome headline:
Climate Change toll is growing
Deaths to rise to 500,000: report
Oh my gosh, that sounds awful.
It begins by informing us, with a straight face: “Climate change kills about 315,000 people a year through hunger, sickness, and weather disasters, and the annual death toll is expected to rise to a half a million by 2030…”
I guess on the line asking for the cause of death on the death certificates and the autopsy reports of all those poor man-made global warming victims, it read “The Man-Made Global Warming”. That’s how they know. And they gather all “global” death certificates and triangulate this, adjust for that, do one o’ them square root things, multiply by the “X-factor”, and then badingbamboom, you gots yer 315,000 people a year. We’ve all heard The Great Obama indicate to us that post-Bush, we must bring the science “back to its rightful place”, so you know it’s spot on!
Where exactly did the prognosticators get this information, Joel? Well it was “commissioned by the Geneva-based Global Humanitarian Forum”, and indeed that first sentence (above) ended with the definitive words, ”…a report said on Friday.” So there. We all know darn well how authoritative those “reports” can be, especially when they’re from “global humanitarian forums”. It’s all the more confusing that the actual dateline is “London”.
I imagine the scientists who came up with that solid sciencifical material put on those white science-y lab coats while writing it up for the media! Maybe two lab coats —one on top of the other, just for extra scientificness.
So there you go. That’s factual gold right there, folks. Science. No BS United Nations-quality “humanitarian forum” chatter to be found in there! This one was found in a major Canadian paper in the CANADA & THE WORLD section. It’s by the legendary Reuters news service. More gold. Authoritative. Must be true.
FUNNY SIDEBAR THING: I went and read their report, and nowhere does it mention “315,000”. I mentions only “300,000”. Reuters seemed to have accidentally inflated it to 315,000, and the newspaper editor who published their story was too lazy or stupid to check “facts” (well, you know “whatevers”) like I did. I’m not sure that helps them and their agenda, but it does make the report sound more like actual science might have been employed rather than that goofy rounding off of obvious bunkum that we always get from that pure junk political science guestimatonological science.
But don’t worry. This thing reeks of scientific credibility (to some, like the Vancouver Sun and Canwest Publishing). The head of the “humanitarian forum” is none other than the worst former non-leader of the most ridiculous, ineffectual and globally farcical body ever created in the history of life, the “global” United Nations’ own Kofi Annan, defender of the global anti-American and all that is Western and capitalist faith. (He’s the one in the picture at right shaking hands with terrorist Hassan Nasrallah of the terrorist organization Hezbollah). They should have included a photo of him wearing a white lab coat and maybe holding a haYUGE calculator (solar powered!) as he read from the report these actual words: “Economic losses due to global warming amount to over $125 billion annually — more than the flow of aid from rich to poor nations — and are expected to rise to $340 billion each year by 2030, according to the report.”
Are those exact figures? Because wow! That’s a lot of the economic losses due to the global warming! Why it’s even “more than the flow of aid from rich to poor nations!” Yowza! A double hit!
But seriously, folks. I mean assuming these people aren’t just all high on life having just cashed their latest check from global climate alarmist organizations and weren’t all trained in Soviet-style or North Korean-style propaganda techniques designed to fool the useful idiots of The West: what kind of newspaper would print this tripe, thereby encouraging these globally worried intellectual and scientific elites, and misinforming its own readers?
PTBC was founded by Mr. Johannesen in 2000.
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