The positively breathless state-run CBC “reporter” Adrienne Arsenault is evangelizing reporting from Mecca—sorry—I meant Brussels, Belgium (where the most popular new baby boy’s name is now… Mohammed, but whatever eh?!).
Being in the heart of Yummy Euroliberal Land must be exciting enough for her, but aside from just being there and drinking it all in—and possibly breathing it all in—she’s evangelizing reporting on the left’s favorite sermon topic this year: “man-made global warming”, and a huge convention of (political —sshh!) scientists who are about to unleash another book for their Environmentalist Religion’s Bible, on none other than… you guessed it… Good Friday.
She’s there to start evangelizing promoting it well in advance! I mean it’s coming up on Friday, fer Gosh’s sake! (No reports yet from Jerusalem or Rome about that whole “Jesus died” thing).
She starts by informing us dumb and evil carbonating canooks that the mostly political scientists (whom she identifies only as “scientists”, naturally, and yet when we’re shown a video clip of the speeches inside, we’re shown a video of a liberal-left politician giving a speech to the “scientists”), scientists inside the big government building she’s standing outside of are indeed charged with a prophetic task.
Adrienne Arsenault emotionally works the story
They have been pouring over (actually, “sifting through”!) “tens of thousands of studies on climate change”, she says. Tens of thousands of studies! And she continues:
“Now they’ve already established without any doubt that mankind is THE CAUSE OF CLIMATE CHANGE. What’s happening here now is that they’re trying to sort out in excruciating detail what the effects of that climate change will be!”
Some breathlessly reported “facts” from the excited state-run media reporter (and I quote her excited words as she reports about the report as best I can even though I couldn’t hear her very well over my noisy heater fan at my feet):
• Hundreds of millions of people will (in a very few short years) be short of water “if they have ANY AT ALL”!
• ONE-THIRD of ALL species of animals “WILL BE EXTINCT!”
• “Polar bears will exist ONLY IN ZOOS, by 2050!”
• “Killer heat waves in Toronto will increase!”
• “Waterborne illness will become FREQUENT!”
• “Disease and illness like West Nile Virus will be PREVALENT!” (In Canada!)
• “The point of all of that detail is to arm government—so that no one is surprised WHEN IT HAPPENS!”
Because, people, there is simply no doubt! It’s “without ANY DOUBT… mankind is THE CAUSE OF CLIMATE CHANGE!”
Over to you in the ever-warming studio, brother David! Gotta get me a croissant!
Adrienne Arsenault only has four more days to pre-report on the report from Belgium…
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