Did any of you catch Ted Kennedy’s vociferous, flabby, sweat-laden, cheerleaderesque endorsement of Barack Obama last Monday? I bet if Ted could have done a back flip he would have been Olga Korbuting all over that stage. He was so jazzed that for a second there I thought he was going to show us his thong.
Question: Who gets this giddy over a human—in particular a politician of the same sex? Look, I like some of the GOP’s former and current contenders, but they don’t make me swoon. Matter of fact, both sides in this cycle have pretty much hammered me with electile dysfunction (the inability to be aroused by any of the candidates), especially now that the race has been reduced—at least according to my political bents—to choosing between watching Rosie O’Donnell in a halter eating a BBQ’d wild boar verses watching Clay Aiken singing My Endless Love in a halter. Yes, I’m officially unenthused.
But back to Ted.
Edward, my humongous brother, you and your cronies had better watch hyping the heck out of the junior state senator whose middle name is Hussein. I was taught growing up in the great nation of Texas that it is wise to under-promise and over-deliver. Listening to you cats praise Obama like he’s Jesus takes me back to when we were all bombarded by how great the New Coke and Clear Pepsi were going to be. And they were fantastic … that is until we drank ‘em. Selah.
And lastly, I’ve got a question for the inhabitants of ObamaNation: Is Ted Kennedy’s approval the sanction you should be stoked over? I understand getting Caroline Kennedy’s props to go along with the “change,” “new” and “different” schlock you’re peddling, but Ted? Ted doesn’t represent “change” and “new.” Barack, as a jaded conservative I was beginning to believe that you were a potential rep for a new day (whatever that means) but then . . . then . . . you go and invite anachronistic Ted to the party. Hello! I bet Oprah’s pissed.
Listen, Barack backers: If you’re going to continue to sell the whole “change” and “outside Washington” stuff to us then why in God’s name did you eHarmony Barack and TK together? Ted Kennedy is no JFK. He’s more like KFC. Matter of fact, when I look at Ted I don’t think JFK, I think WTF? If you need a Kennedy I think you guys would have been better served getting Jamie Kennedy’s support.
If I were a young Obama ogler psyched on the potentialities of Barack, last Monday’s merging with Ted would have caused that LSD trip to officially wear off. Yep, I would have gone from a loud, screaming enthusiast to a jaded golf clapper as Ted’s presence would have sounded the death knell on that political spell.
C’mon, youthful Obama drum beaters, be honest: The Ted connection was a thump on the forehead that your Mr. Washington Outsider, the supposed unsullied glory boy, might not be the salvo you supposed him to be but rather a typical politician who’ll sidle up to a sinister senator for personal ambitions. His chief difference is that he’s younger and inexperienced.
Doug’s articles have also appeared on several other print and online news sources, including The Washington Times, The Daily Caller, Fox Nation, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Examiner, The Blaze, American Hunter Magazine and ABC News.
He’s been a frequent guest on the Fox News Channel and Fox Business Channel as well as many nationally syndicated radio shows across the nation — which, he believes, officially makes him a super hero.
In addition, Doug is an occasional guest host on New York City’s WABC (The Jason Mattera Show) and he is a weekly guest, every Friday at 7:45am[et], on America’s Morning News (155 markets).
Giles and his wife Margaret have two daughters: Hannah, who devastated ACORN with her 2009 nation shaking undercover videos, and Regis who is an NRA columnist, huntress and Second Amendment activist.
DG’s interests include guns, big game hunting, big game fishing, fine art, cigars, helping wounded warriors, and being a big pain in the butt to people who dislike God and the USA.
Speaking Engagements.
Doug Giles speaks to college, business, community, church, advocacy and men’s groups throughout the United States and internationally. His expertise includes issues of Christianity and culture, masculinity vs. metrosexuality, big game hunting and fishing, raising righteous kids in a rank culture, the Second Amendment, personal empowerment, politics, and social change. For availability, please contact us.
Props.
“Doug Giles is a good man, and his bambinas are fearless. His girls Hannah and Regis Giles are indefatigable. I admire the Giles clan from afar.”
- Dennis Miller
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- Rush Limbaugh
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- Ann Coulter, best-selling author
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- Ted Nugent, rock icon
“Doug is funny and insightful. Giles is always spot-on with his analysis and so incredibly hilarious, as well. Whether you’re 15 or 50, if you love God and America, Doug Giles is for you!”
- Jason Mattera, NYT best-selling author of Obama Zombies and Editor-in-Chief, Human Events
“Doug is a raucous and rowdy mix of old-school, traditional conservative values with the kind of eff-you attitude folks like Ted Nugent have made millions on. He’s one part rebellious rock star, one part crusading missionary, and another part rough rider.”
- S. E. Cupp, NYT best-selling author of Why You’re Wrong About The Right and Host of The S. E. Cupp Show on GBTV.com
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