I can deal with a Liberal leadership contest without Belinda Stronach. I can tolerate Bush protecting his backside by shovelling state secrets out the front door. I am OK with Alberta Tories junking Ralph Klein like a rusty old Studebaker. I can relax with the thought of Paris Hilton someday playing Mother Teresa in a movie and I can stomach the idea of Pierre Trudeau having been a separatist in his twenties.
I can live with knowing that every time the prime minister du jour moves his lips, I have to hear about his five priorities. I am learning to deal with whackjobs telling me to stop whining about an 18-month-old being beaten to death with a shovel in Italy, when there are seals getting clubbed in my own country.
But I don’t know how I can ever learn to sing the new number one song on the hymn charts, We Have A Friend In Judas.
It’s always tough to deal with fundamental change. Even those of us who aren’t New Testament scholars have always looked at Judas as the villain of the piece.
The National Geographic Society now says we were being fooled by the Church which was covering up the truth. We are now asked to believe that the ancient Gospel of Judas has been reassembled by experts and it reveals that Judas was the best friend Jesus ever had.
According to this gospel, Judas didn’t betray the Lord. He was doing his bidding. Question to the faithful: Can you deal with knowing that Jesus wanted Judas to hand him over to the Roman authorities? Are you OK with the news that Judas is using the excuse that didn’t cut it at Nuremburg? “I was only following orders.”
Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not a Christian. Perhaps I have no standing in this discussion and should simply sit it out.
But I am a product of Western civilization, what we used to call Christendom. Seared into my pathetic little processor is the idea that Judas ratted out his best friend.
And for what? A lousy 30 pieces of silver. Maybe good coin 2,000 years ago. But by today’s standards, chump change. I grew up with a bellyful of contempt for a man who would drop the dime on his own bud.
This wasn’t like calling Crimestoppers and turning in some yokel doing B&Es to feed his crack habit.
I do have a selfish motive in resisting the idea that Judas didn’t really betray Him. Am I going to be forced to rewrite my ancient commentaries?
Back in the ‘90s, I stuck the Judas horns on the big fat head of Lucien Bouchard.
He betrayed Brian Mulroney by leaving the cabinet, founding the Bloc Quebecois and creating a bizarre picture of people sitting in the House or Commons on a mission to destroy Confederation.
Much more recently I hung horns on David Emerson for selling out those who voted for him as a Liberal.
Emerson didn’t like being called a traitor. He much preferred the term lying politician.
The Harpoon on the Rideau seemed to relish the tit for tat.
A year earlier it was Belinda Stronach burning the blue and becoming the Lady in Red.
It saved the Liberal government and created for Judas of Newmarket the most boring job she ever had.
I am tempted to offer her 30 pieces of silver if she can recall what ministry she headed up.
Will the congregation now please turn to your Gospel of Judas.
“What friends we have in Lucien, David and Belinda.”
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