Wednesday Newsquips

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Newsquips daily briefing:  PTBC lives another day thanks to a $20 PTBC life-support check—in stronger-than-Canadian U.S. Dollars—from Bob H. of sunny warm California, USA.  Thanks Bob.  And just so you know, Bob, the post office didn’t demand the 30¢ postage due so we are good to go.  Now everyone bear with me while I try to clear my wandering mind of the dream-like images of warm California that have been in my mind since Bob’s check got here… 

1. Speaking of cents, and nonsense, just when you thought it was a good idea to encourage people to shop, the People’s Democratic Republic of Torontostan is planning to mandate that private businesses charge a 5¢ per bag “fee” (yes, “fee”) on evil shopping bags.  Per bag.  A “fee” which they will instruct retailers to charge their naughty customers.  Government telling enterprises how to do business, and what to charge, for what reason, when, and why, to achieve their ends.  YUMMY.  Hey I wonder if stores are charging enough for organic vegetables!  Hey Toronto, get one of your ingenious bureaucrats on that won’t you?  … Meanwhile, Torontostan is getting set to pass their 2009 capital budget, which calls for $367 million in new taxpayer debt.  Their debt stands at about $2.6 billion now.  They really know how to run a business over there in Toronto.

2. “We can’t just shuffle chairs” said The Great Obama, pre-election.  Now, Obama’s “CHANGE” team of expert advisers is, as we’re finding out, made up mostly of Washington insiders from impeached President Bill Clinton’s administration, including the biggest Clintonite of all, one of Bill’s, um, mates, his wife (or “life partner”) Hillary Rodham Clinton.  So CBC anchor Nancy (“very interesting!”) Wilson, who calls the war on terror the “so-called war on terror” as if to glibly insinuate it’s just another evil President Bush fantasy or BS war, declared just now that Obama’s team consists of many “so-called former Clintonites”.  I repeat, so-called former Clintonites”.  … Keep on believin’ in the “change”, Mizz Wilson!

3.  Coordinated terrorist attacks taking place against Americans in India, as we speak.  The fidayeen attacks are reportedly being carried out by Islamist militant group Lashkar-e-Toiba.  And here I thought if the Americans voted for Barack Hussein Obama, the world would magically love America again.  But anyway, if you want some magic, simply ask the CBC to comment on it, and they’ll call it “so-called” terrorist acts and make all the badness go away.
UPDATE: An organization calling itself the Deccan Mujahideen claimed it was behind the attacks, and as part of the Indian Mujahideen, may be al-Qaeda affiliates.  Or “so-called” al-Qaeda affiliates for you CBC viewers and CBC web site readers.

image4. Lateral, sideways move, like a crab—or like one of the several CBC staff who have moved sideways to Al-Jazeera.  This one, John Cruickshank has resigned from the top job at the far-left state-owned CBC News to take the position of publisher of the far-left Toronto Star.  He was only head of CBC News for a year and a bit.  What that tells us, I’m not sure. 

5. The state-owned taxpayer-funded CBC has cancelled its annual Christmas Party—no sorry let me start again.  The state-owned taxpayer-funded CBC has cancelled its annual (and I quote) “holiday festivities”.  This sad news as a result of the fact that like those in the citizen-owned private businesses that they compete against and help put out of business, they too are going to have to hunker down—if only to make it look good.  From the desk of Hubert T. Lacroix, CBC president, in an internal memo”…First off, we are going to conduct a full-scale review of our planned capital expenditures to see if there are things we can reasonably defer or cancel. … Unfortunately that means spending on holiday festivities as well.”  …  There goes Kwanzaa!  …  He added, “We have a lot to celebrate this year.”  OK I give up.  What?  But anyway,  “We are going to have to do it in our meeting rooms and boardrooms.”  Because it’s the CBC, one can never be sure, but by “do it” I hope he means “celebrate”. 

6.   I don’t care if they do demand a “doover” (see yesterday’s Newsquip #4).  TOO LATE.  They’ve already established themselves as a bastion of far-left nutbars IMHO.  Carleton University is among the very last universities on earth I’d send my sons or daughters to.  I don’t really need them to be indoctrinated in the narrow-minded closed-minded idiotic far-left nutbar politics that seems to fully ensconce that taxpayer-funded morass (and as usual, by “morass”, I of course mean more ass). 

7.

Joel Johannesen
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