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Know-it-all gov’t bureaucrats (nearly) shut down evil church sandwich program

A bunch of good folks with huge hearts in Vancouver—Christians—decided about 12 years ago to make tons of sandwiches and pot-loads of good soup at their homes, and bring them to their church every Thursday.  There, they would be given away to the needy, just because that’s what Christians do.  Every day.  All across this great country.  And have done for centuries.  Helping people.  Saving lives.  Saving souls. Helping people at risk with soup and sammies. 

But then this week, once again, the state’s bureaucracy noticed, and well by God, their funky funky God, that was that. 

The article about it in the Vancouver Sun explains:

“I’m very disappointed. I think it’s a bureaucratic response to an important human and social issue in this community.”

[Alan] Newbery [co-chairman of the church’s parish council] said there has never been any evidence that food provided at Christ church caused any illness. “So why now? Why now?”

Why?  Why now?  Well.  What what happened is (as the Sun explains) a Vancouver Coastal Health Authority inspector who just happened to be walking by the church (probably quickly!) noticed two signs advertising the sandwich and soup lines.  Uh oh.  That’s the government’s job, ain’t it?  That ain’t liberal! 

So the genius bureaucrat (who may or may not have been wearing a cape) took it upon herself to enter the church (yikes! Alone?), and began asking questions of the evil ones (Anglicans!). 

As if by miracle, official state inspections by the state’s angelic labcoats followed, and the evil church was ordered to stop doing that work of Satan (which should in any case be the government’s job—am I right liberals?!). 

The authority ordered that most sandwiches be prepared on site. At the church.  Because by God after all these centuries ya can’t trust them Christians to make soup and sandwiches for the poor!  That’s NEVER worked out very well in this country!  Look at the damage they dun hitherto! 

They also ordered—ordered —the church to purchase a new freezer in which to place the home-made sammies. 

So that’s exactly what the church is doing.  Just try to stop them.

“Now we have to have a food acquisition component and a food preparation component,” Murray [Randy Murray, a church spokesman and former guitarist for Bachman-Turner Overdrive (or “BTO” as some of us remember them)] said. “And we may be forced into expanding our small kitchen so that is can provide a more commercial style of service.”

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IT’S THE QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

“Some of the people we are serving live on the street—and coming to the church for a nutritious sandwich is probably one of the least high-risk behaviours they engage in on a daily basis.”

Church spokesman Randy Murray

Famous BTO songs that apply here:
Takin’ Care Of Business (Christians helping folks, feeding the poor)
Gimme Your Money Please (if sung by the state’s ingenious authority, sans the “please”).
Let It Ride (Like get a clue, bureaucrat!)
Roll On Down The Highway (directed at the bureaucrat)
You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet (the uncontrolled growing liberal-left state bureaucracy in a stern warning to us citizens trying to do good things)
Hey You (as angrily sung by a state bureaucrat to any citizen caught helping old ladies across the street)
Lookin’ Out For #1 (Liberals as a general matter)
Shotgun Rider (Liberals and their gun control—OK, not related to this story, but a goodie no?)
Heartaches (my feelings after reading this, the latest in insane state control and interference and meddling in our lives)

Listen to the above song clips here.

Joel Johannesen
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