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Liberals fight off urge to be conservative: Too sensible!

Young Liberals in Quebec are acting like conservatives—but are trying not to act too much like conservatives, lest they sound, you know, too “sensible”, like, you know, conservatives.

“I don’t want to act like an outraged Conservative. It doesn’t outrage me more than that,” said one common sense-challenged Liberal in order to temper all the common sense spewing forth.

Apparently conservatives are always “outraged” in this young challenged liberal’s precious little mind.  No sorry—the reporter used a capital C in his story, so it’s members of the Conservative Party who are always outraged—conservatives aren’t.  Phew.  Got that straight for voting time!  Vote Liberal, if I am to understand you all correctly. Now what I wonder is:  did the reporter, Mike de Souza, assume it to be a capital C—or did he just use his best liberal media judgement?  Probably a combo!  I’m pretty sure he didn’t review the topics discussed at the Conservative Party convention last March—since they weren’t overtly “outraged”—as the young libbies are, kind of—about their nation’s little girls wearing g-strings to school. 

The youth wing of the Quebec Liberals were talking about how pre-teens dress at school (here’s a hint for those who don’t get out much—many of them dress like mini-prostitutes and pimps) in light of statistics which show that kids are having sex at younger and younger ages. Who’da thunk it? What with all the values and moralizing going on these days from the Liberals and liberal-left.  For example, the federal Liberal Party voted in their last convention to legalize prostitution.  I suspect a new liberal-designed school uniform could then quite rightly include a pair of fishnet stockings (with built-in condom pocket—duh!  Safety first!).

No, believe me—this has nothing to do with, for example, liberals deciding that teachers should hand out cucumbers to the kids in schools and teach them the valuable lesson about how to put a condom on their teenage—or pre-teen—friend’s erect penis so they can have sex.  Nope.

But being liberals, they can’t wrap their heads around the causes—only the symptoms, and the government-imposed remedies. 

“Following a series of media reports on an increase in early sexual activity among pre-teens and adolescents, Liberal youth wing executives want a government-imposed dress code as part of a strategy to tackle the issue”, said the article in the paper about this.

“When you see a little girl who’s 8 or 12 years old wearing a g-string, that’s maybe a bit too provocative and offensive,” said Simon Begin, president of the party’s youth commission.

Well yes, but why would the kid want to wear that?  Because outraged conservatives are thrusting them into the li’l garment?

“The strategy would include an information campaign for parents, youth and the schools, along with setting up teams of social workers to monitor the issue in each school board.”  Ahh.  The liberaltalk begins in earnest.  “Strategy”.  “Information”.  “Information campaign”, even.  Not just a social worker but “teams of social workers”.  Who can, yes, “monitor”—not actually do anything—just “monitor”.

“But a school board chairperson, Marcus Tabachnick, admits many governing boards are concerned about early sexual activity, which also might be the result of advertising aimed at young people.”

Yeah—it’s nothing to do with liberals and liberal attitudes and their culture war against values.  It’s the TV who’s doing it to them. 

“That’s what sells these days,” he said. “It’s all around television shows, what they read and see in the movies.” 

Darn the luck.  Conservatives are ramming that Janet Jackson video at them over and over. And what’s this? You mean little girls didn’t just grow up naturally yearning to wear g-strings and have sex on their 12th birthday? 

Tell you what—here’s all of the root problems, and you can tackle this in your own way, liberals:

liberal liberal liberal, liberal liberal, orgasms, liberal liberal liberal liberal liberal no moral compass liberal liberal lack of values liberalgodlessness and me me me me me, liberal gay liberal gay gay gay; if it feels good, do it.

Joel Johannesen
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