Did you hear the one about the Polish gay guy?
Dear Director of Diversity:
Ten years ago, I wrote to you with a plan I considered to be well-thought-out and just, though not necessarily...
10 great cigars and why I smoked them
For years, communism has been preventing me from enjoying a lot of good cigars. That used to bother me, until I found a...
Sexperts, porn, and guns, oh my!
A couple of days ago, bird watcher and forest conservation advocate, Rita Dean of Greenville, SC, wrote a letter complaining about me to...
Some profound questions at the airport
I love to fly. It’s a time when I can sit back and prepare for a speech (that is my usual destination), think...
Piled higher and deeper
When I graduated from college, one of my old high school friends said that a B.S. degree stood for “B.S.” When I got...
Life, liberty, and the avoidance of reality
University administrators, professors, and student newspapers are becoming so detached from reality that one can hardly write satire about university life. Nor can...
That takes ovaries!
This week’s column will be difficult to write as I am mired in a deep state of depression. It seems my recent application...
The University of Nude Caucasians at Wilmington
Dear President Broad:
I am writing to express my complete outrage at a memo written by UNC-Wilmington Director of Human Resources William Fleming, which...
Silence that kills
This morning, I logged on to www.Boortz.com to check out Neal’s daily reading assignments. The first thing that caught my eye was a...
Adult DDD
Dear (name deleted):
Yesterday, I received your email explaining the reasons for your poor performance in my class this semester. While I was...
My application for WRC Director
Dear Dr. Berkeley:
I am writing to apply for the position of Director of the WRC (Women’s Resource Center) at UNC Wilmington. I...
The reign of Jane has Churchill looking sane
When I was in grammar school there was a kid on my block named David. He often tried to make others look like...
My presidential acceptance speech
When I first heard there was an organized effort to expel Rosemary DePaolo as UNC-Wilmington’s chancellor, I was taken aback. I thought...
Some profound questions during exam week
I love exam week. It’s the time of year when students start to either a) stress out uncontrollably, or b) pretend to stress...
Don’t get mad, get Egan!
Most college professors look forward to the summer because May, June, and July are the three best reasons to become a professor in...
