I was channel surfing the other day when I landed on an idiotic Reggaeton music video. It was your emblematic Stooge-a-Palooza reel.
The scene was typical: the “musicians” and their homies were wearing T-shirts that would be too large for Sasquatch, they sported baseball caps pull downed over their ears like some Fat Albert character. In addition, they all had the prerequisite teeth “grill” needed now to be in The Cult of the Absurd.
Along with the above, these hoodlums donned the Dennis Rodman multi-necklace starter kit, cubic zirconium earrings and, of course, tennis bracelets. Y’know, nothing screams, “I’m a bad ass” more than stud earrings and costume jewelry.
With all their bracelets and necklaces in place, the creative geniuses launched into waving their 96-oz. beer bottles in the air like they just don’t care as they rapped/“sang”/spoke their song (?) so fast they made an espresso’d-up Joe Pesci sound like a groggy Slingblade.
The thing that floored me was not the musical gruel these dasypygals peddled, but all the gorgeous girls that were a part of the helix-missing miscreants’ music video.
Yeah, dozens of beautiful teens and twenty-something girls were wearing Victoria Secret boy shorts and tiny tube tops as they writhed on the ground and upon the hoods of cars as these “artists” poured beer on them, slapped their butts and simulated sex acts with somebody’s daughter. Which left me thinking, “Where the heck are these girls’ parents?” In particular, where are their dads?
Father, if your daughter is doing extra work on soft porn music videos, or posting sex pics on mySpace.com, or bearing it all for a Girls Gone Wild DVD, or inflating their chests to ocean buoy size proportions to appeal to the most appalling, pusillanimous pigs on the planet, then you have clearly not done your job as a father.
Hey sperm donor—if you bring a little girl into this world, then it is your job to make certain she’s grounded. That’s right, Pappy . . . you are the principal player in keeping your young woman from being the next Anna Nicole Smith.
I’ve got two daughters. One is about to go to college, and the other just turned 15. When these little female charges popped out of their mommy’s belly several years ago, I felt this thing called “responsibility” hit me like a nun chuck regarding their upbringing.
I didn’t sluff off my role in their lives onto my wife, my church, government schools, day care, a nanny, other relatives, TV, Sesame Street, or “the village” to fill my boots. I, along with my lovely wife, got them here, and dammit, it’s our job—especially my job as Alpha male of the Giles castle—to set them up internally and externally for greatness.
Living in Miami I knew that I would have to pony up and be a major player in their lives if they were going to escape being part of the local teen fart cloud; I would have to instill principles in them in order to keep them from teenage wasteland. In other words, I’m going to have to be a dad in the traditional sense of the word. Isn’t that weird?
Having been pretty successful, heretofore, with the upbringing of my righteous and rowdy girls, here and now I will unveil my secret recipe for raising my zesty señoritas.
1. Teach Them How to Fight.
2. Teach Them How to Shoot Guns.
3. Teach Them How Sense BS.
4. Teach Them How to Rebel.
5. Teach Them How to Be Classy (That’s mostly my wife’s job.)
6. Teach Them to Despise Anti-Intellectualism.
7. Teach Them to Be Visionaries.
8. Teach Them How to Party.
9. Teach Them the Value of Hard Work.
10. Teach Them the Importance of Traditional Convictions.
Here’s numero uno on my to-do list for raising girls that pimps and thugs will hate:
Since I would never ever want my darlings to be at the mercy of one these palm pilots, I have made certain that my girls know how to severely disable a bad guy and, if need be, kill him. Not even out of their teens, both my daughters are Gracie Jui Jitsu assistant instructors and have extensive training with knives and guns, both in using and removing them from idiots who might have to die in order to learn something. That’s what I call, “Girl Power.”
To be continued . . .
Doug’s articles have also appeared on several other print and online news sources, including The Washington Times, The Daily Caller, Fox Nation, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Examiner, The Blaze, American Hunter Magazine and ABC News.
He’s been a frequent guest on the Fox News Channel and Fox Business Channel as well as many nationally syndicated radio shows across the nation — which, he believes, officially makes him a super hero.
In addition, Doug is an occasional guest host on New York City’s WABC (The Jason Mattera Show) and he is a weekly guest, every Friday at 7:45am[et], on America’s Morning News (155 markets).
Giles and his wife Margaret have two daughters: Hannah, who devastated ACORN with her 2009 nation shaking undercover videos, and Regis who is an NRA columnist, huntress and Second Amendment activist.
DG’s interests include guns, big game hunting, big game fishing, fine art, cigars, helping wounded warriors, and being a big pain in the butt to people who dislike God and the USA.
Speaking Engagements.
Doug Giles speaks to college, business, community, church, advocacy and men’s groups throughout the United States and internationally. His expertise includes issues of Christianity and culture, masculinity vs. metrosexuality, big game hunting and fishing, raising righteous kids in a rank culture, the Second Amendment, personal empowerment, politics, and social change. For availability, please contact us.
Props.
“Doug Giles is a good man, and his bambinas are fearless. His girls Hannah and Regis Giles are indefatigable. I admire the Giles clan from afar.”
- Dennis Miller
“Doug Giles must be some kind of a great guy if CNN wants to impugn him.”
- Rush Limbaugh
“Doug Giles is a substantive and funny force for traditional values.”
- Ann Coulter, best-selling author
“Doug Giles speaks the truth … he’s a societal watchdog … a funny bastard.”
- Ted Nugent, rock icon
“Doug is funny and insightful. Giles is always spot-on with his analysis and so incredibly hilarious, as well. Whether you’re 15 or 50, if you love God and America, Doug Giles is for you!”
- Jason Mattera, NYT best-selling author of Obama Zombies and Editor-in-Chief, Human Events
“Doug is a raucous and rowdy mix of old-school, traditional conservative values with the kind of eff-you attitude folks like Ted Nugent have made millions on. He’s one part rebellious rock star, one part crusading missionary, and another part rough rider.”
- S. E. Cupp, NYT best-selling author of Why You’re Wrong About The Right and Host of The S. E. Cupp Show on GBTV.com
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