I detect a child-like giddiness in the editorial room at the left-wing’s so-called news magazine Newsweek, and from their editor’s big office. Wait. They do still have grown-up editors over there, right? I’m not real sure.

Newsweek cover - May 2012 - Obama supports gay marriageAnyway I’m thinking the editorial discussion about this week’s cover, or at least the out loud thinking, went something like this: Hey groovers, Obama came out in favor of gay marriage. So, yay. We live for these moments. Not because we give a crap about gay marriage other than the fact the we’re ideologically “for it” on account of the fact that it seems to still be among the latest liberal-leftist things to glom onto, and it seems like the young cool cats still dig it, and because it’s another fantastic distraction away from Obama’s almost complete failures as president, but because this choice we’re making for our latest cover will just drive those conservatives a**holes and the “Christian right” simply mad. They will openly exhibit more of their hilarious moral outrage, and we liberals and progressives on the left will all have a great big laugh at their expense. (Hopefully nobody will notice how un-“inclusive” we all are, am I right?!) And all the other club members in the liberal media will hail us as heroes  —  not because we’re prepared to sacrifice the journalistic standards of Newsweek and journalism generally even more than we already have, but because ultimately, our brave choice will help the progressive cause, and in the process, Obama will come out looking like a saint to us liberals and progressives (we’ll craft is such that is does, with that Godly halo thing that all the idiots fall for!), and it may help him win back the rest of our voting block. And also, all the other idiots in the media will plaster our cover all over the place and raise our May newsstand sales for us!

And then after all that “thinking,” and “journalistic integrity,” they take a two-hour organic lunch break followed by a yoga break.

And each time they do one of these opinionated, overtly side-taking, troll-like covers (remember “WE ARE ALL SOCIALISTS NOW”?), I know that Newsweek has failed again. They make the wrong editorial and marketing choice, it backfires (or will backfire) on them at least over the long term, it makes all the liberal media look all the more stupid, partisan, divisive, in some cases petty, and as some of us would see it, literally drunk or high on crack while at work. Simply not taking their journalistic jobs seriously. Behaving like idiot children of idiotic, careless, rich liberal parents.

That’s mostly what I get out of their covers.  Not the desired effect, huh Newsweek? But then we are all suckas now, aren’t we?

And the actual effect is that the magazine, among others like it which are already in the ditch, sinks deeper into it as a result of their constant digging.

Newsweek asked 'why are Obama's critics so dumb?' On its cover. I ask: Who's dumb now?In the latest Newsweek cover story, Andrew Sullivan, whose previous Newsweek cover story asked: “Why Are Obama’s Critics So Dumb?” inserts himself into the news story and writes about his own visceral emotions as much as the actual news story about Obama’s decision. He was apparently so darn struck by the Obama’s big announcement, that he had to write about how he cried and cried. Because that’s hard news that we all need.

“…when I watched the interview [on ABC during which Obama made his announcement], the tears came flooding down. The moment reminded me of my own wedding day. I had figured it out in my head, but not my heart. And I was utterly unprepared for how psychologically transformative the moment would be. To have the president of the United States affirm my humanity—and the humanity of all gay Americans—was, unexpectedly, a watershed…”

— Andrew Sullivan in Newsweek

Oh dear. That is some pretty strong emotions for such a news story. Tears “flooding down” … “utterly unprepared” … “psychologically transformative” … “affirm my humanity” … “a watershed….”.  All this while watching Obama on TV stutter through another fawning liberal media interview, saying he’s now suddenly “for” gay marriage? (And only to be decided at the state level, not Obama’s level, so like how awesomely courageous of the president, huh?!).

But then he let the tears roll again. This time for the cameras. This time on the far-left’s very own MSNBC’s Chris “I fee a chill up my leg when Obama speaks” Matthews’ show, which is aptly described as an Obama love-in and a conservative hate-on, so imagine my shock when they booked him as a guest.

Andrew Sullivan and his husband
Screen-grab of Andrew Sullivan and his husband, from MSNBC's Hard Ball with Chris Matthews.

And this from a guy who gives out his hyper-sarcastic annual “awards” for such things as the “Poseur Alert,” which is supposedly awarded for writings that stand out for their pretension, vanity and what Sullivan thinks is really bad writing designed to look like profundity. Not that he sees the hypocrisy, but awards for writing much like his own writing often is. See above. Oh “the humanity.”

But let’s wipe off our tears, shall we? Obama’s miraculously-timed, and oh-so “evolved” switch-up in…wait… his very core principles of life? Yup!  —  is actually little more than a wily, calculated political move, perhaps pushed into the public eye a little sooner than his own campaign team would have liked, by a bumbling, near-idiot of a Vice President, Joe Biden. But even Sullivan admits this “evolve” will help the campaign cash bundlers get more Obama-cash. So that’s not just a coinkidink. Still, he cried.

(Notice that whenever a liberal totally changes position on something to a more liberal position it’s called “evolved,” but when a conservative changes position it’s called a “flip-flop”? Just wondering. Because I think America does notice.  But nice try, liberal media!)

Obama’s possible re-election might prove to be a little bit more than merely personally “psychologically transformative” for America and even the world. It might advance Obama’s stated mission to “fundamentally transform America.” And that’s watershed stuff.

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Cross-posted at BoldColors.net

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Joel Johannesen
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