Below, you’ll find the salient parts of the report, but I think there’ s something wrong here.
Stories about when one unknown Conservative Party member’s sister from North Canowhatsit says something that isn’t identical to what the reporters decided the Conservative Party was all about, always involve the “fact” that there is a “rift the size of the St. Lawrence River” in the Conservative Party. That’s followed by reports examining the impending doom of the obviously bonkers (and scary!) Conservative Party, leaving only the liberal-left for voters to vote for (thank God or whomever is you feel comfortable thanking).
Yet that angle is missing in this Canadian Press reporter’s report.
This reporter must have mistakenly forgot to tell us that the Liberal Party is obviously on the brink of total collapse and that there is a rift the size of the St. Lawrence River within the clearly collapsing Liberal Party, which is obviously unable to govern given that rifty position.
Finance Minister Ralph Goodale says he isn’t happy with the budget changes his boss made to win vital opposition support – but it’s about the best the Liberals can do.
[…] “This is obviously not an ideal situation . . . this is not my first choice nor my preferred choice.”
Strange how they missed the breakup angle. Now that I think about it, they missed a whole bunch of similar breakup angles. Weird.
Then there’s that whole defection of the Liberals’ hairpiece, the minister of UnableToSpeakEnglishProperly, Pierre Pettigrew, whose hair is from an unknown foreign land, probably European though. He is reportedly about to abandon the wildly thrashing Liberal Party and Mo Liberal Canada for pinker pastures to (hopefully!) bring other countries luscious socialism, gay weddings, pot-smoking, prostitution, and national defenselessness just like back home.
Hilariously, right out of the gate—as if they also question his hair, the article begins with the mistaken words “Foreign Minister Pierre Pettigrew…” To be fair, he’s not foreign, only his hair is. Well and his English-speaking ability. He’s really the Minister of Foreign Affairs. Affairs is the key word here.
Foreign Minister Pierre Pettigrew downplayed rumours on Wednesday he may quit politics to head the Organization of American States.
Then, as if to bait the reporter, he slyly alluded to the St Lawrence River-sized rift I spoke of earlier, which even with the hint, the reporter didn’t cotton onto…
“No, I am not campaigning,” Pettigrew told reporters after a speech to the Montreal Council of International Relations. “We will cross that bridge when we arrive at the river.
When we arrive at the… St
Lawrence
River, Mr. Pettigrew?
PTBC was founded by Mr. Johannesen in 2000.
Contact Mr. Johannesen about this article using this form. Please refer to article's title.
FOLLOW @JoelJohannesen ON X!
- Feeling phobic? The Libs have a phobia for you! - Friday May 17, 2024 at 6:08 pm
- CANADA GOING DOWN is now its own section - Friday May 17, 2024 at 2:47 pm
- The Once-Famous OOZING BRAIN POO AWARD is Back - Friday May 17, 2024 at 2:42 pm
