4.6 metric tons of CO² is what an average driver will emit from his car in a year. John Kerry thinks that’s horrible, and you should really walk, take a bus, or ride your bike. On account of it’s a climate emergency, y’all!
John Kerry, on the other hand, has been entitled by himself to emit 116 metric tons of carbon on his private jet — a Gulfstream — on Very Important Trips dating from Feb. 9, 2020, to Jan. 10, 2021. This is according to Data compiled by the flight tracking firm FlightAware and reported in the Washington Post and New York Times as well as on MSNBC, CNN, and the Globe and Mail and state-owned CBC in Canada — no I’m kidding, it’s only at Fox News Channel obviously.
He burns not just twice as much as you — no, he’s far more than merely twice as important and special as you. No he burns 25 times more than you and your evil Honda Civic.
According to my quick view of the Gulfstream website which I love to visit because I’d love to have a Gulfstream to lunch in gay Paris like Kerry (rhymes), Kerry’s Gulfstream IV uses at least 415 gallons of Special, highly refined jet fuel, per hour. Refining is extremely “carbon intense,” which is why I point out how refined it is. And also, John Kerry, aside from being Very Special, is very, very refined himself, so while his farts are more carbon intensive than ours, we’re to understand he has applied special filters to his arse which somehow “offset” the farts he blows, thus eliminating the carbon and the smell.
This is science you guys, so believe it. Or you’re a terrorist.
In case you’re stupid, John Kerry’s Very Special jet fuel originates from the same oil fields as the gas you put in your old Kia, whereupon holes are drilled into the Earth by Republicans, and then oil is sucked out of said Earth, usually by especially sexist greedy Republicans (all white men, and real white supremacist-y) and by some racist Islamophobic and transphobic yahoos from the stupidest regions of Alberta. Then the aforementioned fuel is burned for Kerry’s pleasure (sources tell me this is possibly while poking his little finger in the corner of his talky hole and drinking a gin and tonic and then laughing exactly like Dr. Evil); and emissions are thus generated, which wrecks the Earth for you and your children and moreover, the “undocumented immigrants,” the LGBTQ2 community, and indigenous folks, who will in any case all burn in the coming climate warming hellfire because of YOU and Republicans — but not because of him (on account of that arse filter) — starting in 2031 at 4PM.
That’s the Very Special John Kerry, entitled elitist ass, and Joe Biden’s new “U.S. Special Envoy for Climate.”
Of course none of these emissions tabulations count the emissions from Kerry’s limousine rides (not in a Hyundai!), which he uses to get him to all those Very Important Functions, and to and from his private jet; or between one or more of his multiple mansions, each of which consumes more energy than your entire neighborhood; nor to and from his Special Climate Envoy Office in Washington D.C., to lecture you and the other stupids about climate change and how you should pay more taxes and pay more for everything to stop all the climate change which he causes at the rate of 40 times what you create just to get through your working day.
Since it only covers 2020-2021, Kerry’s jet-emissions tonnage figure does not include the private jet he took to collect a Very Special environmental award in 2019, issued by some left-wing idiots in Iceland, called the Arctic Circle award — which is a glorious iceberg sculpture possibly made out of minerals mined from the earth — for his “leadership on climate issues.” How special. This reminds me of the left-wing Nobel Prize division of the progressive left which has nominated the Marxist Black Lives Matter mob for — you guessed it — a peace prize. Kerry is to climate change what BLM is to peace.
It’s not hard to figure why normal folks don’t trust all these liars and hypocrites and posers in government and in most other institutions today, or why normal folks are so divided and increasingly fed up and edgy these days. It’s because those people and institutions run on pure bullshit, which emits tons of BS².
- No, Big Government Departments Are Not The “Corporate World” - Saturday February 27, 2021 at 9:06 am
- America is so stupid! —Smug Canadians at Globe and Mail Can’t Help Themselves - Friday February 26, 2021 at 11:09 am
- “She was a serious person. Then she discovered Twitter.” - Thursday February 25, 2021 at 8:51 am