An all-gov’t cabal announce totally “arms length” “business” “investment”

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Oh look it’s a big all-government announcement of a seriously free-market capitalist enterprise, investing more taxpayer cash in a business, because it’s such a good business plan sort of but obviously not voteliberal.

It’s Via Rail — oops that’s a 100% state-owned “business” but never you mind — and they’re working with various government ministries and also through the government’s Canadian Infrastructure Bank, which is also 100% government and this all-government announcement is going to be huge for you media types who are soon getting a subsidy! But hey shut up this is totally arms length you guys. The guv and the newspaper said! Look! It’s in the newspaper!:

Globe and Mail:  Canada Infrastructure Bank to work with Via Rail on high-frequency passenger rail plan

…The Liberal government created the arm’s length bank with a mandate to step in with grants or loans that will make large public infrastructure projects more appealing to private investors – such as pension funds – by absorbing some of the financial risk.

“Private investors such as Pension funds.” Be polite! Hold in your laughter! Government “absorbing the financial risk.” Yeah these are business terms… in China! This will all end well because it’s backed by and all engineered by the government, y’all! The benevolent government created this great investment opportunity, but don’t worry as me and the newspaper stressed, it’s all “arms length,” including the pension funds that they speak of, which are all government and government workers’ pension plans. But whatevs there’s more to read!

Literally the next paragraph:

Government sources, to whom The Globe and Mail granted anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly, confirmed the broad nature of Tuesday’s announcement.

Literally three paragraphs down from that lists all the private enterprise officials who will happily be at the big festive announcement and photo-op. What? Where are they?!

A notice for the announcement, posted Monday, indicates that Canada Infrastructure Bank president and chief executive officer Pierre Lavallée will join federal Transport Minister Marc Garneau and Infrastructure Minister François-Philippe Champagne in Trois-Rivières to “make an announcement related to the advancement of Via Rail Canada’s proposal for High Frequency Rail in the Quebec City-Toronto Corridor.”

International Development Minister Maryam Monsef is scheduled to make a similar announcement at the same time in Peterborough, which is in her riding.

I count five big government types listed here, out of five. Here’s a “business plan” for you: that’s 100% government and weirdly lacking even the slightest semblance of “arms length” anything. Not a private enterprise guy to be seen here. I’m sure Via Rail people will be there, making it six out of six, or seven out of seven — all government people… possibly an Ontario Teachers Pension Plan or Canada Pension Plan rep (likely female!). I’ll let you do the math.

Imagine if the state-owned CBC had reported this. Oh my. The left would be having a smoke by now.

Arms length. So much arms. So much length.