The way mature coolkids at have some super awesome news for me!

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The Article

When I get my daily socialist dispatch emailed to me from the far-leftists at, I can’t wait to find the biggest bit of lunacy that stands out. There’s always something. For example, “Vote for Barack Obama and Democrats!” (Reason given: “Because the extreme right-wingers under Mitt Romney and of course Rush Limbaugh will wreck America and bring us back to the 14th century! Halliburton!”) Or it’s, “Capitalism and the millionaires and billionaires are wrecking our country! Raise taxes on the rich! We are the 99%!” Etc. But usually it’s just pretty much every word.

The latest email makes it easy as I don’t even have to delve into the contents. It has the subject line “Super awesome news”. This makes it super awesome easy to, like, know I’m dealing with, like, some like totally awesome cool smartkids.

So I’m all like whoa! Dude! It’s way awesome that way. Fer real. I’m like totally like wow! Super awesome!

I’m always like totally ragging on my like wife (I mean life partner, you know), that I can’t like even stand going out for supper anymore because I’m all like, “The servers nowadays are always kids, at least mentally, and speak like kids, and they always call us ‘you guys.’ And everything is ‘awesome’.”

But “super awesome”? Dude!

If president Barack Obama, who is clearly super totally awesome to, wins the election, what will the email subject be? “Super perfect like totally awesome news to the max infinity?”


Cross posted at and

Joel Johannesen
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