Your sexual proclivity may require special retirement options and planning!  Sexual preferences and positions and partners all require separate banking needs.  For example, if you like group sex, then mutual funds are obviously the answer.  If you like doing it in the kitchen, then obviously it’s stocks.  If you’re into bondage, then baby it’s bonds of course!  Please don’t ask me about what the individual annuity is for.  And don’t get me started on “hard assets”.

TD Bank’s ad today in the Postmedia-owned papers seems to be an effort to score more profits, while possibly also promoting a sex-based agenda of sorts, which is of course what we expect from Canada’s staid, conservative banks.  Let’s watch as they climb into bed with the gay and lesbian community, and begin fondling what they must imagine to be the special savings and retirement needs contained therein, for extra profits.

On the flip side of this overt TD endorsement is the shocking news that suddenly, Layton and his you’ve got to be kidding party of progressives might now be fully supportive of the big banks — or at least this one — instead of being their mortal enemy.  No of course I’m kidding.  Obviously it depends if the gals pictured in the ad are in fact lesbians, and if they’re members of not merely a civil union, but also a labor union.

According to the Ontario “human rights” commission, in a huge article in their Data collection case studies, “one of TD

Joel Johannesen
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