This is a hugely good news story for me, Joel, or as my wife and my foreign doctor call me, Mr. HDL.
Yes, I’m packing Lipitor, the drug that an evil capitalist private enterprise company invented to help people to stay alive at a cost of about a buck-fifty per pill and a huge profit for the company which employs thousands and provides nice returns for my retirement investment and yours.
I eat very healthily, and I exercise, yes yes. High cholesterol is genetic for me. Lipitor might well save my life. Thank God for private enterprise, which invented and sells Lipitor. Liberals will henceforth hate Lipitor.
Note that Lipitor is not a state-run pill. Thanks.
The liberal-left socialists, and not a few Conservative Party idiotologists, were dancing in
Kremlim
Parliament a few months ago when they all agreed that there should be a government prohibition against “trans fats”, in order to protect Canadians because Canadians are, in their minds, hopelessly stupid asses, and incapable of making wise decisions with their scant after-tax dollars.
Smoking would not be banned. And they would fight to legalize pot-smoking and prostitution, and continue to fund abortions at any time and at any place and for any reason, and promote gay ‘marriage’ and the gay lifestyle. But trans fats were to become against the law in this nation. To protect us, see?
But as usual, the liberal-left (and not a few Conservative Party idiotologists) are themselves the stupid asses. Left to their own devices, people working on their own tend to look after themselves quite well, and, it should be noted, as they have every right and responsibility to do. The lesson that the liberal-left will miss because they’re out back smoking joints, is that you should simply get government out of the way, and let private people do things better. Let private enterprise fix things—they always have and always will. They’ll make faster progress. People will all get richer. Healthier. Happier.
I will drink a toast of milk and Oreos when the first trans-fats-free Oreo cookie arrives on my Safeway store shelf. I’ll do that because I love Oreos like I love life itself, but also because no damned government told them to remove trans-fats, they did it themselves as I knew they would. And they did it to improve profits, among other good reasons.
FAT’S THE WAY THE COOKIE CRUMBLES:
OREO TO SLIM DOWNBy PAUL THARP
[New York Post, April 27, 2005]After 93 years, the beloved Oreo is going on a diet.
Kraft is altering the recipe of its classic cream-sandwich cookie in coming months to make it healthier, the company revealed yesterday.
The cookie-maker is making the change to get rid of trans fat, a widely used food ingredient that gives delicious flavor and texture to baked goods, but has lately become Public Enemy No. 1 to health and diet gurus.
Studies say trans fats can clog arteries.
But Kraft insists Oreos will taste — and dunk — the same as before.
“You can still lick out the middle, or dunk it the way you always did — or if you’re an Oreo twister, it will still twist apart as before,” said Elisabeth Wenner, a Kraft spokeswoman.
Kraft decided on the makeover because its cookie sales began plunging in recent years due to low-carb diet crazes.
It has taken Kraft’s food scientists two years and tens of millions of dollars to find an Oreo, America’s best-selling cookie, that it claims tastes and feels like the original.
“We tried hundreds of recipes before we found the solution,” said Wenner of the new version.
The biggest problem was that without the thick trans fats, the cream filling oozed out and wafers would break in the rough-and-tumble shipping process.
The new recipe eliminates all unhealthy fats, but keeps the Oreo’s sweetness and textures.
New factory equipment also had to be designed and installed at Oreo factories for the new cookie’s debut in stores at the end of the year. Prices are expected to remain unchanged.
PTBC was founded by Mr. Johannesen in 2000.
Contact Mr. Johannesen about this article using this form. Please refer to article's title.
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