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J-Lines update for September 29 2007

Here are my most recent J-Lines quips posing as a blog entry, for those who haven’t yet cottoned onto my J-Lines—in the J-Lines box at the top of the Blog section. 

• Iranian parliament approves a resolution declaring the CIA and the U.S. Army "terrorist organizations"… putting them in lockstep with Canada’s Left. Jack Layton of Canada’s you’ve got to be kidding party was unavailable for comment, as he was trying to "negotiate"  with the CIA and U.S. Army over tea and buns to get them to stop with all the "terrorism".

Asked about what he could do about "inner-city kids partaking in violence"  at the MTV/MySpace Forum yesterday, Democratic candidate John Edwards  offered an apocalyptic prediction for young black males: ?We cannot build enough prisons to solve this problem. And the idea that we can keep incarcerating and keep incarcerating ? pretty soon we?re not going to have a young African-American male population in America. They?re all going to be in prison or dead. One of the two.? … Vote liberal. For the smartness  factor. And their lack of an abject racist world view.

A Saudi man divorced his wife for watching a TV show hosted by a man—while she was alone. The loving husband ended his marriage on the grounds his wife was effectively alone with an unrelated man, which is forbidden under the strict Islamic law.

• The "Natural Governing Party?s" national director Jamie Carroll shocked his Liberals after he suggested that hiring Quebec francophone staff members was no more important than hiring Chinese Canadians … scientifically proving that the Liberals are officially confused about the very nature of Canada and Canadians. Well,  nature generally, actually. Which makes their media-created moniker confusing for the rest of us…

• I liked the (liberal-left alert: it’s "American-style"!) Colbert Report last night when Stephen Colbert mocked the newly powerful Canadian Dollar. He lamented that it is "oot-performing" the American Dollar. Watch video clip here—yes, worth it just to hear that one word. … And how he compares the U.S. Dollar bill’s portrait of George Washington to our loonie’s portrait of …a "duck", and goes on to say that Canada was apparently "founded by a duck, a beaver, and a moose." And more.

• Things liberals love to hate: 1.) Truth.
Therefore they’ll hate this article forwarded to me by our  Steve Milloy: "Carbon dioxide did not end the last Ice Age" … turns out that this is article number eight cajillion proving that a consensus of scientists agree:  the science isn’t settled. Watch for liberals to call for a ban on guns…  and science.

Headline at state-run CBC.ca: "State media says 9 killed in Burma protest crackdown". … Isn’t that redundant?  Oh—they mean the Burmese state media.

• Hate-on for democracy? On an official state level? Tendentious sentence spotted in a CBC.ca article this morning: "Rumours swirl that [Canada] could be plunged into another federal election as early as this fall."  … Oh God save us. "Plunged" into free elections, huh? Damn  that democracy crap. … No wonder they want to surrender Iraq and Afghanistan to Islamofascist dictators.

• After Liberal Frenchman Stephane Dion hilariously demands that Conservatives fold up their tent, and in their Throne Speech simply follow the Liberal Party’s liberal-left "progressive" doctrine on the Liberals’  four most important policy planks, the liberals’ media comes to his rescue,  repeating his demands and explaining them for him much better than he did— using nearly matching headlines, three of four stories seemingly written by the same reporter:
  Dion keeps door open on Throne Speech (Globe and Mail)
Dion leaves door open to backing Throne Speech (Toronto Star)
Dion keeps door open to supporting Throne Speech (CTV.ca)
Dion keep door open to supporting throne speech (Cnews.com)
… which is why it’s good we have the state-run CBC to come to the rescue of conservatives.

• Liberal Frenchman Stephane Dion this morning, apparently sober and in all seriousness, regarding the Conservatives:  "This hidden agenda will be stopped!". … I can’t make this funnier than it is, except to add this serious comment: What a twit.

Kodak campaign moment for non-Liberals: Ontario Liberal premier campaigning in one of Canada’s North Korean-style hospitals, reaching out his slick glad-hand to sick folks who might live to vote Liberal: "But Brady, 63, who has colon cancer, refused. "I’ve got cancer and you are not helping any,"  Brady told the premier. "That’s not true," McGuinty replied before heading off for his announcement about reducing wait times at the hospital."  … Apparently caught on videotape—never, ever, ever to be seen on the liberal media.

• Canada-bashing from Canadian liberal media continues apace: In a huge story at liberalvision CTV.ca’s web site, the headline is "Afghan villagers blame Canadians for deadly raids" and includes quotes such as "Angry Afghans took to the street Wednesday chanting ‘death to Canada…’" At paragraph number 15, we find this tiny notation:  "Witnesses said known members of the Taliban were at the demonstration."  … Phew. Good thing you didn’t START with that sentence because that would have wrecked your anti-Afghanistan-war story. (P.S. Apparently Osama bin Laden is now known as a "Pakistani villager")…

Further to my previous J-Line entry (below): CBC Newsworld anchor Suhana Meharchand chimed in with this: "And [Dion] really has no choice but to talk ‘tough’ otherwise, you know, ya look like a wuss—right?  So ya gotta talk tough." Here’s my question: When on earth did looking "like a wuss" ever bother Liberals? In fact I thought they were promoting Canada being a nation of wusses, in their line of  imposed upon Canadians "Canadian values".

• State-run CBC Newsworld in bizarre exchange this morning: politics reporter Julie Van Dusen on what I describe as Stephane Dion’s really rather pathetic and sad display of pretend grown-up bravado this morning: "When he came out of caucus meeting with his 12 Quebec MPs, um, I guess some people watching it might think he’s a bit delusional…" … We thought that a while back, Mizz Van Dusen, but yes, you’re right. … And now watch as Liberals officially join me in demanding that the state-owned and run CBC be banned in this country.

In case you just watch that ever-so biased Fox News Channel: On the liberals’ CNN today—Wolf Blitzer interviewed a liberal Democrat, Nancy Pelosi, at length, pausing for minutes while she bashed President Bush and all Republicans (and Blitzer nodded), shortly after Iran’s madman Ahmadinejad did exactly the same at the liberals’ U.N. (and all the delegates nodded). Part Two of the Pelosi interview is tomorrow, which also features Bush-hating liberal Al Gore in an interview. On Canada’s state-run media’s invaluable "The Hour", on their "Newsworld" channel, we have far-left liberal Phil Donahue ("American-style" but at least he hates Bush)  bashing the Iraq war; and Andrew Lloyd Webber (also not Canadian but at least he digs Broadway show tunes).

Dawn BlackDawn Black of the you’ve got to be kidding party hilariously employs their party’s famous "diplomatic methods" today to totally insult the elected leader of Afghanistan, gratuitously, claiming that those evil Canadian war generals drafted his speech to Canada last year. She left out the fact that Karl Marx and Rosie O’Donnell and Bozo the Clown drafted most of their key talking points.

• Radio commentator Bruce Allen mimics Canadians, and says things on his and most Canadians’  minds; Canadian liberals, upon hearing truths, go predictably ballistic and feign indignant outrage, yet again. Liberal Raymond Chan, a former federal minister of the liberals’ multicult, said  Allen’s role in the Olympics sends the wrong message to the world about Canada.  … No, actually, Chan, LIBERALS send the wrong messages to the world about Canada, mostly the ones about us being weak, pacifist, amoral, politically correct suck-ups and appeasers.

• Shocking headline in news: "HARPER AT ODDS WITH UN OVER CLIMATE". … They say it like it’s (a) a new thing and (b) a bad thing…. Sub-headline: ?Prime Minister continues to align himself with Bush? … They say it like that’s a bad thing too. Not being a liberal, I see it as further proof of his intelligence, his distaste for junk science and socialism, and his strength of character. But then again I’m on Canada’s side, so it’s hard for me to know.

Argumentum Retardamitus. Heard with my own ears ands also caught by MRCFox News Channel’s Alan Colmes (a liberal) calls Ahmadinejad a "conservative"  while arguing with conservative David Horowitz. Ahmadinejad’s not a liberal,  that’s for sure. Therefore, according to Colmes, he’s a conservative! "…Ahmadinejad’s not a liberal. He’s a conservative. He’s very right wing. … He was welcome at Columbia University. You shouldn’t be complaining. … Phil Donohue, Hillary Clinton, they’ve been all booed off stages. You don’t talk about that."  See it’s just the same in Iran as here in America. We’re all the same! … There must be a pill for this kind of affliction…

Liberal speaks normal. News anchor ignores it. It happened on the liberals’ state-run media this morning. They’d trotted out yet another in their day-long lineup of pre-booked anti-conservative but oh-so-totally objective climate change experts to speak out against anything Conservative Prime Minister Harper might say at his speech to the U.N., regarding the "man-made global warming" freak-out religion, and Canada’s plans. Liberal David Anderson  said his car gets "65 miles to gallon". Gallon? What in tarnation is a "gallon"? The Liberals foisted the metric system on us, and here’s one of their leaders speaking the old (right) way. I don’t know nuttin ‘bout no "gallons". Sorry. Speak Liberal. It’s the law.

• Hilarious next headline that I saw after writing my previous J-Lines quip (below): "Liberal brand in trouble, polling shows". … Well ya don’t say.

• A group of nonconservatives in Vancouver is trying to massage a pro-prostitution message, with the media’s help, to sucker Canadians into buying into prostitution, literally. They want to start a state-sponsored  "co-op" whore house—to help the victims of course! The story reports: "The new organization would operate like a compassion club, in which marijuana is provided to sick people, with the Vancouver police tolerating the activity." So let’s get this straight: you get all these hookers in a space, give them all amnesty from the law, and then let them keep whoring themselves out instead of giving them other jobs to do. Possibly while high on pot. All at taxpayer expense. Possible name for this liberal-leftist center of "progressive" excellence: "LIBERAL-LEFTIST CENTER OF PROGRESSIVE EXCELLENCE".

• One of the lead clerics of the Man-Made Global Warming Freakout Religion, Nasa’s James Hansen, once mocked  skeptics or "deniers" who didn’t believe in the coming global cooling  as dumb old "court jesters". That was in the 1970s. Now he does the same only about those who don’t buy his "man-made global warming",  uh, "science". But as long as it keeps the cash flowing, huh Jim?

• The liberals’ Globe and Mail online poll asks, hopefully, "Are the Canadian government and the military doing enough to live up to their obligations to ensure Afghan detainees are not abused?". … By "hopefully",  I mean I think they hope their army of liberal readers will answer "No".  Instead they answered  "Yes" by a 54% to 46% margin. Meaning the correct answer is overwhelmingly "Yes" in the real Canadian world. And so as I understand it Canadians are satisfied. "The science is settled";  the debate: "over". Yet the debate will rage, and the liberal media will keep trying to convince Canadians….

 

Joel Johannesen
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