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Hilarious—a must-read Gary Dunford column

Gary Dunford—of the Toronto Sun—writes a must-read column today about a phone chat between Mr. Dithers (guess who!) and a NORAD clerk.  He nails it—Liberals generally, but also our Liberal Prime Minister Paul (“we lead the world”) Martin.

Here’s the first part but you have to read the rest (20 seconds).

PM confused – in general

OPEN SKIES: “Can I speak to a general please?” asks Prime Minister Dithers, when North American Aerospace Defence Command takes him off Hold. He’d so enjoyed Girl From Ipanema: Tall and tan and light and lovely, when she passes, each man she passes says “Ahhh.”

“Any general in particular?” asks NORAD’s switchboard.

“Give me the duty general,” Dithers says. “General of missile defence. The general in charge of the sky this morning. It’s Canada calling.”
 

“One moment please.” There is a click.

“General information,” says a male voice.

“General, this is Prime Minister Dithers,” begins the PM. “Prime minister of Canada, the fly-over country? Northern neighbour? Under NORAD’s missile shield, but not part of it?”

“Good morning, sir. Nice to have you not with us.”

“This is a courtesy call,” Dithers explains. “Just in case anyone at NORAD headquarters wondered about the new rules? What to do if a missile is sighted in Canadian air space?”

“Not to joke prime minister, but if a missile is sighted, I think it’s wham bam thank you ma’am. We’re pretty much autopilot down here.”

“That’s why I’m calling,” Dithers explains. “We’re out of the loop! Canadian air space is a sacred trust. Sacred to me, sacred to my caucus. I’ve got this big leadership gathering coming up and honestly, I can’t leave the missile shield issue on the table. I’ve seen bad poll numbers. It’s time to butch it up.”

“Who is this again?”

[… read the rest – 20 seconds …]

Joel Johannesen
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