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Doug Giles: “Developing the Disaster Master Mind”

I always read Doug Giles’ column.  He’s comes from an interesting place and he has an interesting take on things.  I like his delivery too.

Today he’s looking at what it takes to be a total loser.  It’s easy!  See if you know people who are already following his recipe for “success”.

Developing the Disaster Master Mind

[…] Yes, I guarantee, if you believe and obey these ten points below I can assure you that you’ll eventually be broke, friendless, a disaster to date or marry, a bad father or mother, and possibly a whore or a pimp or a welfare brat.  More than likely, if you stay the course and develop what I call a Disaster Master Mind ?, you will end up costing the government lots of money.  In addition, if you can actually find someone to procreate with, you will spawn a new generation of losers; and if you really embrace the following, you might end up eating government cheese and living in a van down by the river.

Here’s a challenge:

For 90 days . . . that’s just 90 days . . . commit to living out the proven loser principles below, and I can almost promise you that you will be well on your way to no where.  This philosophy will work at anytime, anywhere and for anyone who desires an asinine existence.  You can do this.  You must believe that the Disaster Driven Life ? can be yours.  It needn’t just be the acquisition of the few.  You too can have one hell of a mess.  Are you psyched?  Well, then, let’s get busy with the fundamentals of The Disaster Master Mind ? points one through ten.  Here they are.

1. Be a slacker.
2. Blame others.
3. Embrace hopelessness.
4. Follow others mindlessly.
5. Be a wet blanket.
6. Hang out with morons.
7. Be a self-obsessed me-monkey.
8. Stand for nothing.
9. Have an “it’s not my job” mentality.
10.  Quit when the going gets tough.

In order to prepare you to truly succeed at being a loser, we will need to do more than scratch the surface of these 10 principles. Let’s delve a little deeper into each one to make sure you have everything you need to get started: 

[… Read the whole thing (2 minutes) …]

Joel Johannesen
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