Thursday, April 25, 2024

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Canadian groundhog calls Yankee groundhog a “moron”; claims to be superior race

Liberal leader of days gone badPictured at left:  Liberal leader of days gone

bad

by, Jean Chretien holds a government-sponsored groundhog stuffed doll which couldn’t exist without a liberal government social program.  As we know, no community event or festivity can exist in Canada without it being officially sanctioned and sponsored by a benevolent state government official and one o’ them liberal government sponsored Liberal government sponsorship logos slapped on it. 

Meanwhile, Canadian liberal (“progressive”) groundhogs (hogs for short) —with just four days left in their horrible mandate— have leveled a parting shot and officially called U.S. groundhogs “morons”; and claim to be of a superior race of groundhogs that are socially “progressive” and favor gay groundhog marriages and free taxpayer-paid late-term groundhog abortions (and daycare for the survivors of their abortion program). 

As an extra parting shot they threatened to not sell American groundhogs any more oil, thus setting the stage for the need for more Canadian government social “progrumms”, as their leader Paul (“ouch the obviously valueless door is in FACT progressing upon my buttoxinal value with vigour as I as I as I as I fundamentally leave”) Martin calls them. 

U.S. groundhogs, meanwhile, have been found (by annoying scientist owls)  to clean up their own groundhog poo far better and more efficiently than Canada’s, despite Canadian groundhogs being a member of the progressive global environmentalist industry’s David Suzuki-endorsed Kyoto poo-cleaning protocol and movement against capitalism and global anything and anti-Americanism groundhogs party. 

Canada’s state-run media picks up the story.  Thank God for the state-run CBC. 

Groundhog Day cheers erupted in Wiarton, Ont., as Wiarton Willie’s white-gloved, purple-robed handlers made the morning announcement that the rodent hadn’t seen his shadow, indicating an early end to winter.

On the East Coast, Nova Scotia’s best-known woodchuck also signalled an early spring. Shubenacadie Sam emerged from his heated home at the Shubenacadie Wildlife Park outside Halifax and failed to see his shadow.

There was no report from the west coast despite my west coast tax dollars supporting the CBC, so I went outside and took a picture. 

Yup, looks like man-made American-inspired Bush-induced global warming will kill our babies just like it did the groundhogs which used to roam freely on the west coast before the ice-age officially ended and all the warming started.  (Don’t ask.)
image

imageBut then this from the moron inferior American race, which apparently caused all the consternation from the great white hogs, earlier today.  It’s from privately-owned Fox News, ironically enough: 

Punxsutawney Phil Catches His Shadow, Six More Winter Weeks to Go
Fox News Channel
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa.  — Don’t put those winter coats away just yet.

The world’s most famous weather prognosticating groundhog was roused from his burrow at 7:23 a.m. Thursday and saw his shadow, a sign that there’ll be six more weeks of winter.

Morons.

Joel Johannesen
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