Diplomatic Negotiations Have Failed
While Cesar Millan, the legendary pack leader of all get out, would be proud of our coalition and Sammy for this one micro-second of calm, submissive, puppy bliss during negotiations yesterday, the grueling facts on the ground tell a different story. Before and after this and a few other moments like this, it’s really all about the jihad against the coalition forces of Joel and wife Jo-Anne, and the coalition of the willing which includes our friends some of our friends and neighbors some of our neighbors.
This proves once again to those of you in the tea and bun set that you can’t negotiate with terrorists. Not even with cookies and yummy treats.
We have deployed all manner of rather inconvenient and inaesthetic barricades and fencing material and have managed to secure the area inside the house surrounding the kitchen as a Samra no-fly zone, until such time as full Samradian capitulation is acknowledged, and a formal surrender by her is secured.
However as you can tell by the sly look on her face in the intel photo above, there seems little chance of that happening imminently.
We have now doubled the chicken wire fencing along the already (we thought) secure wooden back yard fence to keep her from digging more tunnels to communist China (see video and further update). We see no evidence that such an eventuality is forthcoming in the near future however, and so we remain on full alert at all times.
We are at Defcon 4 at this time. Samra is currently refueling and is not actively engaged at this moment.
During a trip to Wal Mart last week, me and my wife passed right by a new book by Cesar Millan on how to raise a puppy, sniffing that we have more than enough allied resources at our disposal. However, after a nasty series of battles, we reconsidered our troop level needs, and bought the book at Costco, read it immediately, and are now in the process of awaiting two additional puppy-raising DVDs from CesarMillanInc.com. We would welcome more troops of course, and perhaps a compliment of sedatives for the Generals, or some plenty of whiskey.
We remain optimistic.
Latest video from Puppy News Channel:
Sent: Tuesday, October 20, 2009 6:12 AM
Subject: Re: Samra update
Are you sure that Samra is not part Lab? (Lab motto – If it moves it’s food, if it doesn’t move it’s food). Was she actually trying to eat the bowl? When all else fails you can always use a cage! Not for long term of course, but just to provide a few moments of relief to catch up on sleep!
Dean I’ve tried sleeping in a cage but it’s really cramped!
There’s no lab in her because I’ve seen and met her mom and dad (who are really nice, gentle, docile doggies!). She doesn’t actually try to eat things but likes to chew through almost everything. She has any number of chew toys and chewy treats but there is no end to her fascination with teeth and gnawing through things. So I’m thinking she’s part beaver.
Sent: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 7:03 AM
Subject: Am enjoying your puppy updates
Figured I’d say the above, as I got a new kitten about a month and a half ago, and am largely going through similar stuff as you are. I’ve discovered the Keira’s modus operandi is “If it moves, attack it. If it doesn’t move, attack it anyways, it might move.” Great fun these little hyper and curious beasts (as my girlfriend calls her, Beast. I prefer ‘Attack Monkey’ myself.)
Take care and enjoy!
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