I’ve decided to enter the ministry. And I’m going back to school in order to prepare. My choice of schools is Meadville-Lombard Theological School. I want to go there so I can take the course “Queer Theories and Theologies” under Laurel C. Schneider.
Professor Schneider’s description of “Queer Theories and Theologies” is, to say the least, pretty queer, especially given that it’s offered in a seminary:
“This course is a close examination of the development of ‘queer theory’ out of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered liberation movement on the one hand, and the international development of critical theory on the other. Our particular interest throughout the course will be first in exploring queer theory as a public academic discourse and second in discussing what impact this discourse may have on theology and ministry.”
Professor Schneider’s course objectives are perhaps the most appealing aspect of “Queer Theories and Theologies”:
“1. To get confused and yet not give up on thinking. 2. To improve in critical thinking about the intersections of theory (system of rules or principles) with public action so that we may be better able to recognize the ways in which theory often flies ‘under the radar’ in the public realms of church and ministry, government, social movements, and culture. 3. To make at least one practical connection between queer theory as you come to understand it and public theology.”
I’m pretty confused by some of those objectives. But I’m not quite ready to give up on thinking. There’s hope for me yet.
Whenever one is confused in Professor Schneider’s course he (or she or it or undecided) has an opportunity to submit a “weekly reflection.” This is the part of the reading schedule that includes a “reflection question” meant to help guide reading for the session. The good news is that the student can use the question to frame a one-page response to the reading, or (and I’m quoting directly from the syllabus) the student can “ignore the question and address one of (the student’s) own that emerged for (the student) in response to the session’s reading.”
I can hardly wait for this part of the class because the readings are both godly and scholarly. For example, students read “The Queer God” by Marcella Althaus-Reid. Later, they read an article by Howard Eilberg-Schwartz, which is in “God’s Phallus and Other Problems for Men and Monotheism.” Mark Jordan’s “The Invention of Sodomy in Christian Theology” also makes the list. But the highlight of the readings is none other than professor Laurel Schneider’s article “What Race is Your Sex?”
I thought about writing a rebuttal to Schneider’s article called “How Tall is Your Age?” But I decided to call it “What color are your brain farts?”
By session nine of “Queer Theories and Theologies” the student is expected to formulate a central question or thesis statement for a project, which constitutes 30% of the final course grade. Mine will take the form of a final paper called “Why Queers Enter the Ministry.”
Some years ago, a man asked for my opinion on why his good friend, an atheist, had decided to go to Yale Divinity School. I told him that the Enemy could do more harm trying to destroy an institution from within than from without.
And so it is with the so-called GLBT (Gilbert) movement. The Gilbert has equal rights. He is not fighting for anything. He is only seeking to destroy anyone or anything that will not validate him. That is why only 4% of gays who live in states giving them a “right” to get married actually do get married. They do not seek to enjoy marriage. They seek to destroy marriage. All because it denies them validation.
Originally, all Unitarians and Universalists were Christians who didn’t believe in the Holy Trinity of God but, instead, in the unity of God. Later, they stressed the importance of “rational thinking” and the “humanity” of Jesus. Since the merger of the two denominations in 1961, Unitarian Universalism has emphasized “social justice.” Hence the interest in the Gilbert movement.
We live in a time when Gilberts are invading Christian denominations in an effort to destroy their core Christian beliefs. I intend to enroll in Meadville-Lombard Theological School in order to reverse this trend and bring the Unitarians and Universalists back to Christianity.
I want to set them straight, so to speak. I want to save them before their symbol, the flaming chalice, is replaced by a flaming phallus.
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Mike S. Adams was born in Columbus, Mississippi on October 30, 1964. While a student at Clear Lake High School in Houston, TX, his team won the state 5A soccer championship. Mike Adams graduated from C.L.H.S. in 1983 with a 1.8 GPA. Mike Adams was ranked 734 among a class of 740, largely as a result of flunking English all four years of high school. After obtaining an Associate's degree in psychology from San Jacinto College, Mike Adams moved on to Mississippi State University where he joined the Sigma Chi Fraternity. While living in the fraternity house, his GPA rose to 3.4, allowing him to finish his B.A., and then to pursue a Master's in Psychology. In 1990, Mike Adams turned down a chance to pursue a PhD in psychology from the University of Georgia, opting instead to remain at Mississippi State to study Sociology/Criminology. This decision was made entirely on the basis of his reluctance to quit his night job as member of a musical duo. Playing music in bars and at fraternity parties and weddings financed his education. Mike Adams also played for free beer.
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Upon getting his doctorate in 1993, Adams, then an atheist and a Democrat, was hired by UNC-Wilmington to teach in the criminal justice program. A few years later, Adams abandoned his atheism and also became a Republican. He also nearly abandoned teaching when he took a one-year leave of absence to study law at UNC-Chapel Hill in 1998. After returning to teach at UNC-Wilmington, Adams won the Faculty Member of the Year award (issued by the Office of the Dean of Students) for the second time in 2000.
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After his involvement in a well publicized free speech controversy in the wake of the 911 terror attacks, Adams became a vocal critic of the diversity movement in academia. After making appearances on shows like Hannity and Colmes, the O'Reilly Factor, and Scarborough Country, Adams was asked to write a column for Townhall.com.
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Today Mike Adams enjoys the privilege of expressing himself both as a teacher and a writer. Mike Adams is also an avid hunter and reader of classic literature. Mike Adams published his first book, Welcome to the Ivory Tower of Babel, in 2004. His second book, Feminists Say the Darndest Things: A Politically Incorrect Professor Confronts "Womyn" On Campus, was published in 2008.
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