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NOW and THEN

Hi Cicely ( [email protected] ):

I received (and actually read) your recent letter in response to Part VI of my series of columns called “Why I don’t take feminists seriously.” While I ended up writing seven columns in the series, I am writing this installment just for you. As Vice President of the National Organization for Women’s Orlando, Florida chapter, this column will give you all the respect that you deserve, not to mention all the attention that you crave.

In your letter, you asked me why I use the term “ridicule” to characterize my response to feminists. Adding that feminism is a term used to describe people who believe in “gender equality,” you demanded to know “what is ridiculous about that?” Since I had already explained that in another part of the series, I was forced to draw my first conclusion about your organization:

1. NOW Orlando feminists are too lazy to read. Between masturbation workshops and partial-birth abortion advocacy, you should take the time to pick up a book or read a series of columns without starting in the middle.

Later on in your missive, you stated that you read in my biography that I was “working to end diversity in academia.” Since that statement does not appear anywhere in my biography, I am led to another conclusion:

2. NOW Orlando feminists are either semi-literate or actually illiterate.

Maybe that helps to explain, in part, my first conclusion.

Of all you had to say in your manifesto (not an intentionally sexist term), this was my favorite part:

“It appears that you are scared of losing that little niche cut out especially for white, Christian boys, well ridiculous or not, feminists, women who don’t call themselves feminists, Black people, Hispanic people and whomever else you feel does not deserve a piece of your elitist pie, are coming for it.”

That forces me to conclude the following:

3. NOW Orlando feminists are so detached from reality that they believe they can launch an unarmed revolution culminating in the seizure of property from armed adversaries.

Good luck with that one, Cicely. We’ll be watching you through our rifle scopes long before you reach the front door. Don’t bother ringing the doorbell, sister.

You also berated me by saying that “it shows a significant lack of forethought to berate women who choose to obtain an abortion for a packet of cells that if allowed to, would become a human being. It is NOT murder, and it is certainly not comparable to killing a living, BREATHING, full born and grown human.”

This produces an inevitable conclusion:

4. NOW Orlando feminists have less respect for the fetus because it is smaller or “not fully grown.”

You also state that my “hyperbolic comparisons to Communism gone wrong are a gross misrepresentation of any form of reality.”

The next conclusion is obvious:

5. NOW Orlando feminists think there is such a thing as “right communism” that can simply go “wrong.”

Finally, you state that “Since 1 in 3 women choose to not commit themselves to a lifetime of caring for another human being, a choice you, as a man will never have to make, it is blatantly a needed and justified means of establishing equality in our political system.”

Forgive me for the blunt language contained in the next conclusion:

6. NOW Orlando feminists are stupid enough to think that they can achieve political equality by killing their off-springs.

Since I have listened to all you have to say, I would like you to consider a piece of friendly advice. I want the National Organization for Women, NOW, to change its name to Totally Hysterical Emotional Nabobs, or THEN. This will warn potential members that you are not only irrational but hopelessly caught up in the past.

Finally, I noticed that your “extreme opposition” link took some pot shots at my friends at Concerned Women for America and my dear friend Phyllis Schlafly of the Eagle Forum. But that’s not why I’m mad. I’m actually upset that I wasn’t on the list. Could you please add me to the following link?:

http://www.noworlando.org/extreme-opposition 

I have a feeling that after this column others will be mailing you with similar requests. Thank you and have good day.

Sincerely,
Mike S. Adams

Mike S. Adams
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