Lately, liberals (read: statists) have been giving me a hard time about my opposition to a gun control initiative that would limit gun purchases to one per month per owner. Since I a) don’t like the government telling me how many guns I can own, and b) just hate having liberals (read: statists) mad at me, I’ve come up with a solution. It takes the form of a New Year’s resolution sure to make everyone happy (myself especially).
I hereby resolve to help the cause of gun control in America by purchasing only one gun per month in 2008. Naturally, I am providing a list of those guns below with pretty pictures you can access with a click of the mouse. I hope you enjoy the following selections:
January – Beretta .32 Auto Tomcat
This is a great little gun to purchase if you are having trouble finding a gun that will fit inside the fanny pack you use when you are jogging. Of course, I don’t use a fanny pack when I am jogging but after I buy this sweet little Beretta I’ll have a good excuse to buy one.
February – Walther 380 Auto
This year I plan to adopt a nineteen year old girl who still has two years of college left (at Bucknell University). Her boyfriend is pretty big but he’s often busy studying for medical school. So I plan to buy her this stainless 380 for personal protection. It is both an accurate and a reliable weapon. Plus, she thinks it’s “cute.”
March – Sig Sauer 226 9mm Elite My friend Barry Whitehead shoots a Sig 9mm with a 3.9-inch barrel. The gun is so accurate that I can hardly imagine the 4.4-inch barrel version to be better. But I plan to find out with this lovely spring purchase. Just in case a Democrat is elected president I want to make sure I have plenty of 9mm weapons that take 15-round magazines (before they re-ban them). This Sig fits my requirements and it’s also “cute.”
April – Smith and Wesson Model 610 10mm Revolver
I’ve been considering a 10mm Automatic for some time but, like many readers, I’ve been worried about the price and availability of the 10mm cartridge. That problem has now been solved with my discovery of the Model 610, which also shoots the S&W .40 caliber round. This is a good side arm for hog hunters. I plan to buy the version with the four-inch barrel.
May – Ruger Super Redhawk .45 Colt
The .45 Colt is the second best home defense weapon – finishing a distant second behind the 12 gauge pump shotgun. But this new double-action .45 Colt has one advantage over the shotgun: It can be placed on your passenger seat in plain view of the would-be carjacker.
June – Beretta Stampede (Deluxe) Single Action Revolver in .357 or .45 Colt
This is a pretty gun. I would like to have about 72 of these – 36 in .357 and 36 in .45 Colt – sitting around the house. Fresh out of the box and never fired, of course. That would be heaven.
July – Browning BAR 7mm Rem. Mag.
I’ve been told that the 7mm Rem. Mag. is the best Elk round available. I intend to find out one way or another. If I’m ever attacked by a an Elk out here on the East Coast I’ll be more than ready. If that doesn’t happen, I guess I’m due for a road trip to Colorado.
August – Browning BLR 30.06
Many of my friends say that the 30.06 is the best round for hog and black bear hunting. I plan to test the theory with this late summer purchase. I feel quite a bit safer with a lever action as opposed to a semi-auto. I also feel quite a bit better now that I’ve shared my feelings with my readers.
September – Ruger 10/22 Camo Rifle
This is a good first gun for anyone. I would suggest it for the novice hunter interested in sharpening his skills on squirrels, rabbits, and other small game.
October – Remington 1187 12-Gauge Super Magnum
My friend Barry Whitehead says I need to take up goose hunting. I learned long ago that one should never ignore the advice of Barry Whitehead when it comes to guns. This model will do the trick. The Remington is, in my opinion, the best shotgun for the money.
November – Browning Over/Under Cynergy “Field” Shotgun
I’ve been thinking about getting a new shotgun for quail hunting. I feel more comfortable with an over/under than with a semi-auto. After all, I occasionally hunt with a 78 year old lawyer. One can never be too careful.
December – Kimber Valier SXS Grade II Double-Barrel Shotgun
I have decided to reward myself with this beauty for a Christmas gift. The 16-gauge with 26-inch barrels should do the trick for pheasant hunting. My only problem is that I cannot decide between a) the Color Case, b) the Bone Charcoal, or c) the Blue receiver. Please drop me an email at www.DrAdams.org and let me know what you think.
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Mike S. Adams was born in Columbus, Mississippi on October 30, 1964. While a student at Clear Lake High School in Houston, TX, his team won the state 5A soccer championship. Mike Adams graduated from C.L.H.S. in 1983 with a 1.8 GPA. Mike Adams was ranked 734 among a class of 740, largely as a result of flunking English all four years of high school. After obtaining an Associate's degree in psychology from San Jacinto College, Mike Adams moved on to Mississippi State University where he joined the Sigma Chi Fraternity. While living in the fraternity house, his GPA rose to 3.4, allowing him to finish his B.A., and then to pursue a Master's in Psychology. In 1990, Mike Adams turned down a chance to pursue a PhD in psychology from the University of Georgia, opting instead to remain at Mississippi State to study Sociology/Criminology. This decision was made entirely on the basis of his reluctance to quit his night job as member of a musical duo. Playing music in bars and at fraternity parties and weddings financed his education. Mike Adams also played for free beer.
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Upon getting his doctorate in 1993, Adams, then an atheist and a Democrat, was hired by UNC-Wilmington to teach in the criminal justice program. A few years later, Adams abandoned his atheism and also became a Republican. He also nearly abandoned teaching when he took a one-year leave of absence to study law at UNC-Chapel Hill in 1998. After returning to teach at UNC-Wilmington, Adams won the Faculty Member of the Year award (issued by the Office of the Dean of Students) for the second time in 2000.
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After his involvement in a well publicized free speech controversy in the wake of the 911 terror attacks, Adams became a vocal critic of the diversity movement in academia. After making appearances on shows like Hannity and Colmes, the O'Reilly Factor, and Scarborough Country, Adams was asked to write a column for Townhall.com.
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Today Mike Adams enjoys the privilege of expressing himself both as a teacher and a writer. Mike Adams is also an avid hunter and reader of classic literature. Mike Adams published his first book, Welcome to the Ivory Tower of Babel, in 2004. His second book, Feminists Say the Darndest Things: A Politically Incorrect Professor Confronts "Womyn" On Campus, was published in 2008.
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