Over the last few months (or has it been years?), many readers have asked me to recommend some colleges and universities where I would actually send my children. I hope those readers will be patient. I’m still looking.
Since it isn’t easy to find a college where I would send my kids, I thought I would approach the problem from the opposite angle. So, today, I begin a series of reviews of colleges and universities where I would definitely not send my children. I hope you enjoy the list more than the administrators at the colleges I choose. That shouldn’t be difficult.
Recently, a student at Champlain College in Burlington, Vermont informed me that his school was planning to put on a formal dance until a liberal student decided that he or she (or perhaps “it”) didn’t like the theme “Black and White.” Of course, most normal people understand that, in this particular context, “black and white” means that it is an event requiring formal attire. Of course, that might be heterosexist in the minds of gay students who want to wear pink tuxedos or dresses depending upon their actual or perceived gender at the time of the dance.
But, of course, at Champlain College when just one student says the dance theme has something to do with inherent racism, there can be no dance for any student. I call this the tyranny of the minority. Some just call it unmitigated idiocy.
But, of course, the fact that just one student at a college is a blithering pansy is not sufficient to completely rule out a particular institution of higher learning. That extreme measure can only be taken when the administration legitimizes the feelings of the pansy to the detriment of the emotionally stable members of the rest of the university community. So, the following email explains why Champlain College has made our list of schools that cannot be taken seriously:
From: Kennedy, Mary Kay
Sent: Fri 9/30/2005 11:19 AM
To: BROADCAST; All Students
Subject: Decision on the danceGood morning, all:
Thank you to all of you who have e-mailed or stopped by to discuss the postponement of last night’s dance. One of our institutional goals is to maintain a safe and comfortable environment for all students, faculty, and staff. In following up on concerns expressed regarding security coverage for the dance, we also had concerns expressed about the Black and White theme. Although the theme was chosen with the best intentions, there was the possibility there might be unintended consequences that could be offensive or hurtful.
Our campus goal is to create an environment that is fun and welcoming to all students, faculty, and staff at all times. To that end, we decided to reschedule the dance for next week with a new theme and appropriate security coverage.
The dialogue that is taking place on campus, in offices, in meetings and through e-mail is extremely thoughtful and important both for this situation as well as helping us to move forward as an institution to improve planning, processes, and decision making. Please continue to share your thoughts and ideas with us.
Mary Kay Kennedy
Vice President for Student Services
Champlain College
Telephone: 802-860-2703
E-mail: [email protected]
Fax: 802-860-2764
The following week the dance was held and, of course, the “Black and White” theme was dropped to appease the offended student.
If I were in Mary Kay Kennedy’s position, I would have written the following email to the student:
Dear offended student:
I am writing to inform you of your suspension from Champlain College. Before you return next semester, you will be asked to attend six weeks of First Amendment sensitivity training. You will also be asked to write the text of the First Amendment 1000 times or, instead, write the phrase “I understand that I have no constitutional right to absolute comfort” 1000 times. Choose the option that makes you feel most comfortable. Finally, you will be dropped in the middle of the Vermont woods during the month of December for one week. You will have to survive only on what you kill. You may bring whatever weapons you think (or feel) are necessary to make that happen. This will teach you self-sufficiency. If any of this is a problem, you are free to transfer to U.C. Berkeley, Brown, Princeton, or San Francisco State University. Sincerely,
Vice President for Student Services
Mike S. Adams
Next week, there is even more fun to be had at a public university in one of our southern “red states.” I hope you enjoy it. Ya’ll come back, now.
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Mike S. Adams was born in Columbus, Mississippi on October 30, 1964. While a student at Clear Lake High School in Houston, TX, his team won the state 5A soccer championship. Mike Adams graduated from C.L.H.S. in 1983 with a 1.8 GPA. Mike Adams was ranked 734 among a class of 740, largely as a result of flunking English all four years of high school. After obtaining an Associate's degree in psychology from San Jacinto College, Mike Adams moved on to Mississippi State University where he joined the Sigma Chi Fraternity. While living in the fraternity house, his GPA rose to 3.4, allowing him to finish his B.A., and then to pursue a Master's in Psychology. In 1990, Mike Adams turned down a chance to pursue a PhD in psychology from the University of Georgia, opting instead to remain at Mississippi State to study Sociology/Criminology. This decision was made entirely on the basis of his reluctance to quit his night job as member of a musical duo. Playing music in bars and at fraternity parties and weddings financed his education. Mike Adams also played for free beer.
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Upon getting his doctorate in 1993, Adams, then an atheist and a Democrat, was hired by UNC-Wilmington to teach in the criminal justice program. A few years later, Adams abandoned his atheism and also became a Republican. He also nearly abandoned teaching when he took a one-year leave of absence to study law at UNC-Chapel Hill in 1998. After returning to teach at UNC-Wilmington, Adams won the Faculty Member of the Year award (issued by the Office of the Dean of Students) for the second time in 2000.
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After his involvement in a well publicized free speech controversy in the wake of the 911 terror attacks, Adams became a vocal critic of the diversity movement in academia. After making appearances on shows like Hannity and Colmes, the O'Reilly Factor, and Scarborough Country, Adams was asked to write a column for Townhall.com.
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Today Mike Adams enjoys the privilege of expressing himself both as a teacher and a writer. Mike Adams is also an avid hunter and reader of classic literature. Mike Adams published his first book, Welcome to the Ivory Tower of Babel, in 2004. His second book, Feminists Say the Darndest Things: A Politically Incorrect Professor Confronts "Womyn" On Campus, was published in 2008.
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